Marriage

Marriage help

Speed of Life

by

Do you ever feel like you don’t have enough time to live?

Ha! I know that sounds funny, but I was just having a conversation with myself about living at the speed of life, meaning, getting my mind to slow down so that I can take a minute to look through a cookbook or to write a note to a friend or to read a chapter in my book club book, or work on the little hand made Christmas gifts for my grandchildren- without feeling pushed to get on to the next thing!

And I am having this conversation because sometimes if feels that if I’m not running and doing “out there” then I’m not “getting things done!” Can you relate to this feeling?

When really, cooking takes time and shopping takes time and writing in a journal takes time and reading your religious text (books) takes time and pondering and meditating takes time and growing a garden takes time and cutting flowers takes time and going for a walk takes time and reading stories takes time and cleaning off the table takes time and sorting the mail takes time…..

Whatever tasks you may be doing today, I hope you can breathe and take the time to be present. Even if you’re doing the simple, living things that make a rich life for you and your family. {Which I might note, are not the things we see blasted at us through the media of our culture!}

Sometimes we have to consciously remind ourselves that building families and relationships takes even more than our time and energy; it requires our presence.

So when that hurry, hurry, hurry feeling grabs you, maybe you can smile, pat it on the head and tell it that you’re living at the speed of life and no faster.

Love you!

Jacque

P.S. And may I say that when I am not present while I’m working on the tasks of living, when I am doing something to cross if off a list, it turns out that I’m not really living at all! Where we are in our minds is where we are living. Can you read a book to a child and be a million miles away? Yes! But when you come to yourself, and think about and enjoy what you are doing and the person who is with you, everything is so much more full and rich and alive! We must be very cautious about keeping ourselves here and now, not allowing our minds to be one place and our bodies in another, thus separated from the present moment.

I challenge you to take a little data sampling of where you really are at different points in your day. If you’re spending a lot of time away from yourself, something needs to change!

Kind, Gentle, Respectful, Firm

by

Part of self-care is taking care of yourself with other people.

Sometimes a gut-wrenching experience….for me, maybe it’s not for you.

When you are honest with yourself, do you see that you being treated poorly on a regular basis? Maybe not being treated with the respect you deserve?

Or do you quickly speak up to let others know how you expect to be treated?

Now, thinking back, can you say that when you are communicating these expectations that you are kind, gentle, respectful and firm?

It has been a long journey for me to get to where I know what my voice sounds like when I am using all of those attributes together.

Maybe you have practiced and have a solid grasp on the art of this, and if so, I’m glad! The world certainly needs, desperately needs, people who can work through differences with civility; who can cultivate a team mentality when working with complex issues and mulitple perspectives; who can lead with decisive action while keeping relationships strong and loving; who can set an example of offering clarity while showing extra love.

In my view, these abilities are the epitome of principle centered leadership, the attainment of which is a worthy, life-long pursuit.

Practice, practice, practice. Ask for forgiveness when we get it wrong. Move forward. Practice, practice, practice.

I wish you great success!

Love,

Jacque

P.S. There is no justification for yelling, threatening, name-calling, withholding love, hitting, belittling, or any other bad behavior.  These behaviors are simply a red flag flying to tell you that boundaries need to be set, or that a boundary has been crossed by one or both parties. Consider how you can correct that situation using kindness, respect, gentleness, all while being firm.

 

 

Do You Remember?

by

Do you remember what it was about you that your spouse first loved?
Do you remember what you first loved about him?

It might be fun (and instructive and maybe necessary) to have a conversation about your perspectives and bring to mind the ways you can brush up on the qualities that brought you together in the first place.

And I would love to hear about your discoveries!

Hugs,

Jacque

P.S. If you find that you are focusing on your struggles and difficulties as a couple, I’d challenge you to shift your mind to see all of the amazing things you have going for you! It will change the energy and let the love and admiration flow! If you haven’t already watched it, check out the video here on Lioness and watch A Tale of Two Brains and It’s Not About the Nail. Be ready to laugh at yourselves!

 

Gratitude Draws Support

by

It was brought home to me very powerfully this week, to hear a sweet young mother giving thanks for what she has and adjusting her outlook to the parameters that are her reality right now.

Her gratitude, in the midst of what has been frustrating circumstances in her life, was like a call to all who know her to rally to her aid and rejoice with her in the blessing she acknowledged!

That beautiful energy of light and inspiration came through her words and touched my heart.

What beauty surrounds us as we find ways to accept the things we cannot change and find the strength and courage to seek out the good and give thanks and appreciation for the blessings that are always overflowing, whether we notice them or not.

Have a wonderful, counting blessings week ahead!

Love, love, love,

Jacque

Thanks for the inspiration Bree!!

“I love my life.”

“I am decisive and prompt.”

“I give thanks in all things.”

“I receive insight in the midst of offering gratitude.”

Self-Validation

by

Self-validation sounds like this:

“My feelings matter and I care about my well-being.”

“I am kind, gentle, respectful and firm with myself.”

“I am worthy of  my own love and attention.”

“I am capable of making decisions for myself.”

“I can learn and I continue to challenge myself.”

Self-validation is evident in these behaviors:

I respect my body, my limits and my needs. I put good food and nourishing drinks into my body.  I move and exercise in ways that are fun to me. I keep myself groomed and clean. I dress myself in clean and well-fitting clothing. When I need help, I ask for it.

In relationships, validation looks like this:

I give my family and friends the benefit of the doubt and am gracious in my interactions with them. I am kind, gentle, respectful and firm as a parent and leader. I am respectful of others even when they aren’t present. I honestly want to learn and progress and want my relationships to grow. I am dedicated, loyal and thoughtful.

As I’ve mentioned before, the principles of validation take practice, practice and more practice. The good news is that as long as we are drawing breath, practice opportunities abound!

Start with yourself, and you will see that when you feel validated, validating others will come naturally and with ease.

All my love and best wishes for your success!

Jacque

1 2 3 10