Isn’t it crazy how differently we each perceive the same situations?
As we’re trying to educate our voices to inform others that we mean what we say, we may have to look closely at the sound we make and the look on our faces and even our body language. Hopefully you have had a chance to write out the observations you have made about yourself!
You can get a clue about how you come across by the reactions of your family members. Are they defensive? Are they yawning? Do you feel that you need to repeat yourself 100 times to get them to take you seriously? Or are they in tears and feeling blasted?
So, back to the difference between our perceptions:
Kids who grow up with parents who call it like it is and mean what they say, coupled with respect and kindness, tend to be able to take correction and directions pretty well. Those who who were treated with little respect or on the other end of the spectrum, with the belief that they are fragile and incapable of handling the truth, are shocked and possibly offended by it when they do hear it. Can you see yourself (as a child or as an adult) in there somewhere?
Our child who is encouraged and corrected with clarity and respect, can handle a strict teacher or demanding coach, and not perceive them as unfair or unkind.
The child who has been coddled and held to a low standard of conduct, may perceive that same teacher or coach as mean and abusive.
We must get clear on what our expectations are (for ourselves and others) and then communicate them correctly if we want our children to grow to be thriving, self-aware adults.
Consider someone who you have known or observed, who has a clear way of communicating. How do they sound? How do they stand? How do they feel about themselves?
Please share your thoughts in the comments!
Love to you!