Mothering

Inspiration on parenting

You Are Making History Mom!

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What a treat! I’m so happy to get to share a recording with you of an interview aired this morning on KMTI radio. Larry Masco did a great job interviewing Erica Komisar, author of Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood In The First Three Years Matters.

There are some insightful, and scientific gems here ladies and I hope you might take a few minutes to listen and be reminded that what you are doing as a mother is of utmost importance. In fact, you are creating a future for your children that is connected and calm and full of potential growth.

I’ve been reading the book and have felt that I want to shout from the rooftops that we have got to pull it together as a society and become truly family and child-centric, not just in what we say but in the choices we make!

A startling statistic I read this morning is that over the last decade, there has been a 400% increase in mental illness in children and adolescents.

We need to get very clear on who we are as family leaders, what we are about day in and day out, and what we will and will not give our time to, and then boldly lead out by our example so that together we can change this downward trend.

More ahead on Lioness about this topic! I hope you’ll stay tuned!

Love and blessings to you,

Jacque

Table Talk with Erica Komisar

So It Goes

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It’s another day living in contrasts; light and dark, (what a great place to be!)

A day to practice choosing hope and growth, from the knowledge we have gained from

Experiencing sadness and remorse;

Maybe you had a day of challenge and pain, or

Maybe you experienced a day of joy and rest.

(How would we know rest without strenuous work or understand joy without ever feeling pain?)

Hopefully you saw the sky and felt the wind,

And tasted something nourishing and were a

Blessing to someone nearby.

We can only be where we are; to effect change we have to

Want change enough to think a new thought, maybe even before we

Feel a new feeling.

That takes courage rising from our deepest selves. The part of

Us that fights (even when we don’t know it) to live in harmony with

God.

May He bless and lift and comfort and encourage and

Direct and teach us all along the path

Of this splendid journey, this education, this gift of living

Here, in our physical selves, in this physical world.

God bless your desires to remember and to be your true, unique and wonderful self!

With much love,

Jacque

Tune-In

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This is a little community announcement! I thought that some of you may be interested to know that Erica Komisar, author of, Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters, will be the guest on the Table Talk show on KMTI radio 650AM, Monday November 27th at 8:15am. I’m looking forward to hearing her speak about her work and the need she felt to document her compelling research on a topic that is vastly important to individuals, families and society at large.

I hope you can tune-in! 

For those of you who may not be in the west and able to receive the broadcast, I will see if there might be a transcript of the show that I could share here or give you directions about how to find more info.

While I’m at it, I’ll ask, what kind and nurturing thing can you do for yourself today? I challenge you act on the answer to that question, which will help you to be in a state of nurturing kindness that will then pour over graciously to your family!

Sending you much love!

Jacque

Fight Right!

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I am amazed at how lazy our minds can be when we let them go!

Lazy in the sense that if we haven’t taught ourselves to dwell in positive places, places of clarity and light, we’ll most likely be tolerating negative looping thought patterns. And let’s face it, our minds seem to spiral lower and lower when left to themselves with no boundaries of enough is enough.

Like a kid left to play video games all day; like grazing on a bag of potato chips while thinking about the book you’re reading; like reacting to a put down instead of acting according to our own better judgement, a mind left to wander and sulk and replay pain and fear is really pleading to be redirected….for our own good and the good of everyone we know, especially those who depend upon our love!

If our minds were muscles (I guess they are in that we can strengthen them or let them go to the least resistant thoughts); if our mental conversation was audible (oh wait, what we think is apparent when we open our mouths!); if negativity effected our pay check or our looks or our standing with others (oh wait, it does all of that!). So if we know all of these things, why do we “let ourselves go?”

I think it is because we don’t believe that we have the ability to change our thoughts. And, because we think that no one else knows, it seems that the social pressure we may feel for being on our best behavior doesn’t count when it comes to our thoughts.

But it counts more than anything else!

And we do have the ability to change. Yes, it takes concerted effort! No less effort than lifting weights, no less than taking a shower every day and washing our faces and brushing our teeth. No less than putting a good foot forward at work or when we are with our friends. But it requires a higher level of integrity, because while our thoughts do show in every facet of our lives, they are primarily the fruit of the private relationship we have with ourselves. And is there any relationship as important as the one we have inside our own heads, with ourselves and with our Creator?

I know that this is the battle that means the most; it’s the place where all our battles are actually fought. And, I know the battle it is to believe that we can change our thought patterns and that the battle to keep at it day in and day out is real! And it can be won.

We must try not to spend our time fighting with other people, wanting them to approve of us or wanting public opinions to validate us! Those opinions aren’t the ones that truly matter in the end. We must validate ourselves. Make friends with ourselves. Make peace with God. Bask in His constant love and know that we are priceless to Him. {Don’t know that yet? Ask Him to let you know how He feels about you.}

We’ve got to fight right!

How much fight do you have in you?

Hold on and hope on and don’t you ever give up.

Sending you my love and my knowing that we were born to win.

Jacque

“I am the Master of my fate; I am the Captain of my soul.”
“I am learning to take better care of myself.”
“I like myself, I love myself.”
“I am precious to God.”
“I am interested in the world.”
“I find joy in my life every day!”
“I am in charge of my beautiful mind.”

A Saint

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“Mother Teresa was considered a saint because she was seen to personify an idea: to love God and to love one’s neighbor. And yet, what she did was so simple that each one of us can do it–in fact, must do it, if we are to obey the command of Christ: to feed the hungry, care for the sick, invite the stranger in, clothe the naked, visit those in prison, and quench the thirst of those who simply need a cup of water.”

“It was constant prayer that gave Mother Teresa the strength to keep going and caused her to produce such tremendous fruit. And it is prayer that must under gird all efforts to obey God, because as Mother Teresa of Calcutta would be the first to say, obedience is not always easy.  In fact, without God’s help, it is impossible.”

Eric Metaxis, 7 Women and Secret of Their Greatness

I just finished this book and, as you may have guessed, I recommend it! (Thanks for the referral Carli!)

In fact, I read it while I was flying to another state to assist some of my children and grandchildren. I was so tickled to be asked to come since I always want to be appropriate support to my kids– but would it be right for me to go barging in telling them when they need me?

As I read the chapter on Mother Teresa, I kept feeling stinging tears because so much of her life is a direct parallel to most every mother I know, like you!

Three things in particular that crystallized in my mind during this reading.

When we serve our children we are serving God. Getting a picture of Mother Teresa who wanted to ‘do something beautiful for God’ going about collecting the dying, the children who had been abandoned, the uneducated, the sick and dying, the poor, is so simple, yet so stunning that it moves me in profound ways. But I ask you, how is changing the diaper of your baby or wiping a nose or bathing and soothing any child different from the holy activities of Mother Teresa and her helpers? I grant you that it can be easier in a way to care for our own, but comforting is comforting. Feeding is feeding. Listening and understanding and rocking and caring are Godly acts and no less holy in your home than on the streets of Calcutta.

But, sometimes we get off in our thinking and we get a bit proud and think that what we do isn’t as important as what others are doing. Or we may think that because we don’t get paid (Mother Teresa intentionally lived in poverty with the people she served) or thanked or praised, that somehow what we are doing day in and day out is drudgery and beneath our dignity.

Or we may get lopsided if we are waiting to hear that our efforts have pleased someone.

Serving God, which is exactly what we are doing when our motivations are true, doesn’t require us to please others. And you will save yourself much grief and heartache if you can do your best and not get pulled into a game of giving in order to receive the recognition and thanks. It doesn’t work that way.

Hopefully, those you serve will reciprocate your kindness and be appreciative, but when they don’t (because they may be clueless about what you are giving) remember your focus and whom you are truly serving.

Lastly, the life we have chosen as marriage companions and as parents creating families is not an easy one and requires all we have plus some. Prayer, as Mother Teresa knew, will ‘change the night to day’ as we are striving to fulfill our commitment to Christ and his doctrines to succor and lift and bless. Prayer is our life-line, our refuge and our strength. Please don’t try to lift and build by yourself! Ask for the divine help you need and watch the blessing flow. There is power waiting to be given, but in many instances that help is predicated upon our asking, just as my children reached out to me and asked for the support that I am over-joyed to give!

Of course there are stark differences between being a nun or a service missionary versus being a parent and a spouse. A lot! But in this one point I think we can be secure: elevate your service and your motivations and you too will do something beautiful for God. Right at home.

Bless you!

Love,

Jacque