Self-care ideas

Ideas and inspiration about the need to care for ones self

1, 2, 3

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Some days, for some reason, when we begin to think about what needs to be done, a whole week or even a month of a mental to do list can hit us all at once! And then overwhelm hits, followed closely by paralyzation!

Does that ever happen to you? Not since last Christmas? Good for you, you’re doing well!

I’ve found that in those over-thinking moments, I need to sit down and download every thing that is running through my mind onto a piece of paper. Once it’s on paper and out of my head, I can prioritize the things I need to do, make lists and spread my to-do’s out onto appropriate days or weeks. Then, what relief, I can see the baby steps I need to take that will get me where I want to go.

Sometimes making the list serves me by letting me see that I’m expecting too much of myself in the time I have and I need to pare those expectations down or look for different ways to get the same things accomplished.

Then other times, I make the list and think it’s going to take a week to check it off, and what do you know, within a few days each item is done! The weight I was feeling in my mind as I thought about things I need to do didn’t accurately represent the real amount of time and effort actually required. And that is telling isn’t it?

If you have moments of overwhelm, whether it is because of a big to-do list or if it is emotional weight you are carrying, grab a pencil and start writing! Get it out of your head so that you can observe yourself more clearly. Then, seeing things, probably closer to how they really are, you can set about making a plan to help yourself get from point A to point B, and hopefully with some grace and ease.

And please remember the truth that self-care is crucial during this time of year! Listen to the mothering, nurturing voice in your head and do what she says! If you get rundown and feeling run over, it won’t be pretty for the rest of the family. {You’ll notice that you’ve gotten too far when you start thinking that other people are being unreasonable and snappy! Uh hem, it’s most likely not them…}

All my love,

Jacque

 

 

 

You Make the Difference

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Your presence is helping to regulate your children’s emotions.

And ladies, let us remember that our prisons and correctional facilities and detention centers are full of unregulated emotions and addictions born at least in part by broken connections! C’mon! Let’s wake up the world! Healthy, functioning families, mothers and fathers, matter to society at large in a mon-u-mental way!

Do you get it? Are you understanding more fully as time goes by, the impact of your presence? It. Is. BIG.

But society isn’t supporting you in doing what you need to do to be present! Help! Our culture is sick and is in need of healing! And I say that you are a large part of what will heal us, individually and collectively.

All we each need is to be loved and valued and heard right?  Well, that requires deliberate presence.

Being present means you have to be inhabiting your body, not running from your problems. If that stings, there’s work to do. And you can do it.

It means, for us women, employing our feminine, nurturing gifts. Not sure what those are? Think it through and begin to develop them more fully in your relationships.

Presence also means shielding ourselves from distractions. Holy Moses, how many distractions can be thrown at a person? They never stop, do they?

This all makes for a tall order doesn’t it? Well, we move fastest and furthest with baby steps.

One place to start is cultivating a kind, warm and soothing, nurturing voice in your own head. That’s a great first step needed in order to be there.

Can you let go of the pushing, moving, get-it-done energy long enough to have your spiritual and emotional cup filled for the day? {And, by the way, whose job is it to fill that personal cup? It is yours. If you are waiting for someone else to do it, it’ll be an awfully long wait!}

No matter what time of day it is, you can close your eyes, drop your shoulders, take a deep breath, start thinking or saying your kind, supportive declarations and stay on track or just come back to yourself again. {If you haven’t written declarations yet, get some crafted today!}

Here are a few things to consider in practicing your best being there skills:

1 Think I’m drawing them to me vs. I have to chase them down! {What does it take to make you approachable and family attractive? A soft voice? A smiling face? Your undivided attention? Consider all the ways you can raise your attractiveness and do it!}
2 Remember that tired and ornery energy is virtually the same as “go away, I’m upset with you!” {Uggh, I have learned this the hard way.}
3 Practicing self-care means being the mother to yourself first- and mother’s often say, “You need to go to bed on time, and I mean it!”
4 What you put in your mouth changes you chemically so give your endocrine system a fighting chance by giving it what it really needs, fresh food and don’t forget, water!
5 How you feel about yourself is the energy you are giving to your family. What do you want them to feel? Confident and kind? Then how can you feel more confident and secure? Do you need a sounding board, someone to talk to? Or greater skills and knowledge about some facet of your responsibilities? Or, do you simply need a shower and fresh clothes and a little make-up and you’re ready to go?

Baby step by baby step, you are changing the world in beautiful ways. And you are the world to some very important people!

Thank you for doing what it takes to be there.

Love always,

Jacque

P.S. I firmly believe that as we do the work in us that is required for us to be present, we become better at being there for those for whom we are responsible. And in that process, as we we ultimately turn our best, nourished selves outward in giving, we will be nourished and healed ourselves.

Seems to me that’s the way God does math. Yes, we do the work, with His help and the divine motive of blessing someone else, {lest how would we ever have the grit to face our fears and frailties without love motivating each step?} and immediately, we are blessed beyond measure with the joy of being fully connected to Him, and to each other.

P.P.S. There is time. It is never too late to progress.

 

 

As a Woman Thinketh

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It’s kind of mind boggling isn’t it, that we are the thinkers of our thoughts? That “we” are separate from our thoughts, and that we can actually choose what to think!?

So a simple reminder: if you’re feeling down on yourself or on a situation or a relationship, you can start right this minute to choose a new way to think about it that will change things for the better!

It is not controlling you or “making” you do or be anything you are not opting into.

If you choose to, you can step away from the spiraling, looping thoughts that are keeping you feeling down and step into a place of light and peace.

With a prayer in your heart, move out of the shadow and into the light by declaring new and powerful words!

”I am learning a new way of thinking.”

”I am finding solutions to this problem.”

”I am open to seeing things as they really are.”

”I choose to be in the light!”

”I am humble and teachable.”

”God is always with me and waiting to bless me. I am asking for His help with redirecting my mind.”

”My body is relaxed like sitting in warm sunshine coming through a sunny window on a winter day.”

”I am still. I am at peace.”

Sending you love—

Jacque

 

 

 

 

Growth Is Happening

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“Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different…”
C.S. Lewis
Just don’t you quit. And while you’re in the struggling and striving part, keep a bit of a journal– {even recording a few thoughts will make a big difference} and soon you will reap the benefit of giving yourself perspective when you read back…and see how everything is different.
Be well,
Jacque

Slow And Low

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When you’re talking about cooking nutritious, whole food, the words slow and low come in. Of course eating as much fresh food as possible is important, but also cooking food at low temperatures helps to preserve nutrients. Having a pot of beans soaking and then cooking on the stove, seasoned meat and vegetables in the crock pot, bread dough fermenting; all of these mean

wholesomeness is on it’s way and everyone can smell that mom is home and the home fire is burning!

This kind of cooking requires planning in time to cook. And it also means that the less fast, junk-type food we eat, the more the real will taste wonderful and right. Whole food desserts are rich in flavor, but only if your palette isn’t accustomed to high fructose corn syrup, artificial flavor/color laden food science products. You have to acclimate to appreciate!

Just as being committed to making the shift to a better diet, and all that that means in our lifestyle choices, so slowing down to the speed of life requires us to adjust our taste for speed and the variability found in all of the media that is competing for our attention.

Being with young children, really being with them, is a subtle experience. Particularly spending time with babies and toddlers requires our minds to slow down and listen to and watch for simple cues. The dilemma for mothers and parents today is that media has our minds re-wiring (literally) into short sound bite long attention spans. It’s fast, it’s provocative, it’s stimulating and it’s about as nourishing as an artificially flavored, boxed dessert that can sit on a shelf for three years and not rot.

And just like adjusting your taste buds by leaving the junk food out of your diet, we have to slow our minds down by firmly limiting our use of media. This is part of the fierceness we have as Lionesses! We have to make tough decisions and solid commitments to ourselves for the well-being of our families.

If your life is revolving around your phone and you are at home with young children all day, I strongly encourage you to set times (naptimes would be a great option) when you allow yourself to be on your device. Our children know when we are trying to get away, when we are disinterested in them, when we are tuning them out, when we are feeling lousy about our lives when we are comparing ours to the glam sham of everyone else’s.

As mothers we’re in the business of making human connections. Let’s not sabotage ourselves and our efforts when our opportunities are so rich and right in front of our noses.

Be well. On purpose.

I send my love and admiration for your hard work and goodness!!!

Jacque