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Confidence Attracts!

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Do you think that title has truth in it?

What does a confident person look like?

Often, it is easier if we think of things from another perspective. Such as; think about the times that you are most attracted to your spouse. Is it when they may be feeling down on themselves? Probably not.

I love it when I see my husband in his groove. When he feels my love and acceptance. When he is smiling. I love to hear him greet our children and grand children with enthusiasm and excitement. He lights up when he sees them and it is a delight to witness.

Sometimes as women, I think we are trying to “be” the mother or wife or sister or daughter we think our families need, and it is easy to lose sight of who we are, and sometimes lose confidence that who we are is enough and wonderful.

When really, who we are is actually what they want and need.

So what is confidence?

First of all, confidence is not looking a certain way. It’s not having hair like so and so. It’s not weighing a certain amount or dressing in the latest style. It’s not being the center of attention or having x number of friends (…although all of these outward things can show part of how we feel about ourselves!)

Confidence is knowing who you are. Created by God and beloved by God.
Confidence is feeling love and acceptance for and within yourself, that then oozes out and touches others with love and acceptance.
Confidence is knowing that you are human and giving yourself room to grow.
Confidence is doing good; being kind; reaching out; showing concern; loving within healthy boundaries.

So how do you build confidence in who you are?

A#1 answer in my opinion is to have respect for yourself and for your needs, and to communicate that respect to others by how you speak of yourself and how you treat yourself.

Want to be more self-respecting and therefore more attractive? Write out your declarations about how you feel about yourself (those positive, beautiful thoughts!) and get to saying them until they come to your mind unbidden. Work at it and pray for it and begin to show greater respect for yourself today.

Yes, we give.  Sometimes we give appropriately, sometimes not enough, then sometimes we give too much. Keep working on balance!

Yes, we nurture. And that nurturing needs to extend to us too!

Yes, we sacrifice. While allowing others the opportunity to sacrifice for us as well.

We have so much more power to change our circumstances by changing how we feel about ourselves and our lives than we realize or use!!!

You are great!

So let it show.

Love you,

Jacque

Beautiful You

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Easy does it Girl.

Do you ever have the sense that everyone else knows something you don’t? That you’re the only one who didn’t catch on to the joke or the make the accomplishment or get the style or whatever it may be?

I think that everyone feels that from time to time.

We are designed to strive for belonging, so it’s not surprising that fitting in feels good.

But know that the ways we fit in are really important! And the real ways don’t include self-abusive thoughts or expectations.

Really fitting in or connecting with others doesn’t come because we’ve crossed every ‘t’ or dotted every ‘i’. It doesn’t come because we have it all together or have more purchasing power than someone else.

Real connections are made between imperfect people who are doing their best to be their best selves, to be kind and loving and inclusive.

Connections happen best when we can risk allowing others to see our true selves and trust that who we are is enough.

You are enough. The striving, serving, falling, rising, rejoicing, grieving, searching, giving and receiving, you.

If you’re feeling in a crunch in your mind, I hope you will take a deep breath, and let the stress and expectations and intensity go. All will be well. You’re much further along than you know.

I wish you the best Tuesday ever!

Love,

Jacque

“I love my life.”

“I am well.”

“I give and receive help and support.”

“I am valued and cherished.”

“My efforts are enough.”

“I am relaxed and happy.”

“My family feels my love.”

It’s You!

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What have you learned lately?

What are you interested in learning?

What opportunities do you have to learn?

Remember, it’s not just formal education that counts! Family life is full of opportunities to gain skills and new knowledge, and in fact it is necessary to continue to learn in order to meet the challenges of daily family life.

Besides that, when we are curious about life and open to learning, we are more engaged with others and more interesting ourselves!

We can read.  We can ask questions. We can experiment. We can grow things. We can create a new schedule a new meal plan or a new way clean a room. We can create order in one little corner. We can read about the lives of people we admire and what choices they had to make and how they dealt with challenges. We can create a flower arrangement or decorate a cake. We can write an article or paint a picture.

What creative pursuit calls to you? I hope you can find ways to cultivate your creativity! And remember, to look for the win/wins for you and your family!

I wish you a great week ahead!

I Like Myself

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With your new or brushed-up validating skills, how are you treating yourself?

When you make a plan to take care of yourself, are you honoring that plan?

I was reminded recently that confidence is gained through keeping our commitments to ourselves. And that’s a life-long quest!

One of the most powerful mantras I’ve ever used, is simply saying, “I like myself.  I love myself.”

If you haven’t tried it, give it a shot.  You’ll know you need to employ this tool whenever you are feeling snappy or frustrated or down. Amazing how self-acceptance, or rather the lack of it, is most often at the root of all of our slow vibration moments.

If you want to prove the point to yourself, the next time you are angry or frustrated with someone else, take a quick look through your mental log and see what negative or cutting thing just crossed your mind about you. It’s as if you’re on the defense from a self-injurious thought or comment first, and then the blame gets shifted to whomever happens to be close by. Yes, it sounds too simple, but give it a go.  See what you discover. {If you are constantly down on yourself, you may not hear the put-downs right away. It may take some practice shining a light on your mental chatter. But once you tune into what you are actually doing to yourself, you will be in a position to make massive changes very quickly!}

You can immediately shift your feelings by saying these simple words, I like myself, I love myself. Say them until you feel the shift and then move on in your interactions with others.

It is so effective, it feels miraculous.

Be lovable. Be loved. And start with yourself.

All my best!

Jacque

All or Nothing

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Sometimes I get into trouble when my thinking is too black and white.

Do you ever realize that you are stalled in a decision because you’re thinking only all of one thing and nothing of another will do?

Maybe there is a sweet spot of compromise in the middle somewhere.

If you’re stalled out, I challenge you to look for the win/win solution that you may not have recognized yet!

Prayerfully, we can keep moving forward and find the balance for which we are searching.

Be well!

Love,

Jacque

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