General

Day 11- Block Your Time

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Hello my friend, I hope you’re doing well today.

It’s been fun to hear your ideas and questions and experiences. Thank you for joining in the conversation!


Photo by Jessica Ruscello on Unsplash

Today’s self-care idea is about easing up the stress in your life by making decisions about what you do each day. {If you’re using the Lioness planner, you will have noticed the pages with a place to plan your “Time Blocking”!}

It’s a concept similar to time management, but in Lioness coaching we call it Time Blocking. It’s just a chunky, flexible way for mom’s to manage tasks and time.

I call it chunky because instead of managing yourself in small increments of time, such as, exercise at 6:00am, shower at 7:00am, start laundry at 7:30am, eat at 7:40am, have dishes done by 8:00am, etc., we make a list of things that need to be done on a given morning or day. This is because we mom’s generally are managing much more than just ourselves right?! And those other selves are kind of unpredictable, tend to mess-making, need to potty at inconvenient times, get hungry off schedule, etc.

So, if I say, “from 6:00am – 12:00pm I plan to have xy&z done on Monday’s” the chance that I will get those specific things done in that chunk of time is better than the tight version of scheduling yourself and your family in minute to minute frames.

If I schedule like I’m the only one that lives here, and I have a sick baby that needs to be rocked from 7:00am-8:30am, I might feel frustrated by the change or like an out-of-control-failure if things aren’t done exactly on time. {At that point you just throw the schedule out right?}

Keeping your life and household scheduled but loosely, usually means that things keep moving forward in some predictable way, even when the unpredictable happens.

I list this as a self-care idea because it gives so much peace!

When you Time Block, you don’t need to decide what you will do everyday, because you already have your work mapped out in chunks of time on certain days.

You don’t have to wait until things are so messy or unclean that they are screaming for attention. Your consistent attention to them means your work will be far easier and take less time and be less of a strain in the long run. {Think of the difference in cleaning a toilet once a week vs. once a month! Much faster and easier if it is done regularly, and it doesn’t sick you out during the time in between!}

The Lioness blog post, Flexible Structure (September 8, 2017) will give you more information on this topic, along with listing other blog posts on the subject if you’d like to read more!

Give yourself the gift of decision. It calms things down. Greatly.

Love and peace to you today!

“The mission of Lioness at the Door is to uplift, strengthen and encourage women of all ages to magnify health, hope and happiness at home. We do so boldly, with humility and gratitude for the opportunity.”

Day 9- Te Fiti or Te Ka?

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The first time I watched Disney’s Moana I was moved.

The story says so much about identity and personal power that it brought me to tears.

The part that made me laugh and smile for days on the other hand, was seeing that Te Ka was actually the seemingly heartless version of Te Fiti…or, I wondered, was she possibly just hormonally or chemically off? Maybe experiencing a decade of PMS?

Are you hearing my laughter?

So today, if you are experiencing hormonal up’s and down’s, I’d like to tell you, “this is not who you are…you know who you are!”


Photo by David Clode on Unsplash

If you know what I’m talking about, you’ll know that I know because I’ve been there. {That’s pretty much the only way to know isn’t it?} In fact,
I’m discovering the hormonal journey doesn’t end so I think I can relate to the shifting tide you may be feeling…daily or monthly or every now and again.

This is an area where I believe we can do much better. I know, that sounds like we have some control over what feels completely out of our control! Point is, we have to know what factors are at play if we want to have some control over them, right?

A caveat: there is a medical disclaimer at the bottom of this page that basically says all the obvious- that I am not a doctor, that I’m not prescribing anything, that the information on this website doesn’t take the place of receiving care from a physician, etc. Bottom line is that you alone are responsible for your decisions. But you already knew that!

Ok. Here are a few thoughts to consider.

Stress contributes greatly to hormone imbalance. And why my friend, are today’s women so stressed so much of the time? Maybe because of what we believe we should be doing, accomplishing or being? Sometimes all simultaneously? Can we do “it all”? And all at the same time?

First I ask, is there a job in the world that is more demanding of a person, in every conceivable way, than being a hands-on mother 24 hours a day? Being responsible for the welfare of another human being, in fact when that human being is completely helpless, is mind boggling! Times that intensity by how many children you have and wow, that is a very hefty job.

I mention this, not because you don’t already know it, but because I think our culture, those that create the money-making media that’s elbowing it’s way into our minds everywhere we look, is clueless at best and misled or misleading at worst. It says that as women we need to prove ourselves.

To whom and for what? Why would we feel pushed and harried and running too fast for our own good?

Is it because our society worships stuff and people? We seem to think that in order to be a “valid human being” you have to win the accolades of society. Sometimes it’s the message that women need to be like men. {Surely that pursuit could throw a girl’s hormones out of whack!} That being committed to another human being or sacrificing for their welfare is somehow demeaning. That having more and more and more stuff somehow reflects our value and is the real pursuit of happiness…you see what I’m saying here?

We mothers, we Lionesses can’t be taking advice from this materialistic philosophy! We know who we are, so we can stand with quiet dignity wherever we are. {Quiet dignity is different from being quiet! We aren’t quiet much of the time are we, nor should we be!}

We know that more stuff doesn’t create happiness. In fact, we know that expecting our house or car or watch or jewelry or cash flow to make us happy is a false belief! And that belief makes us more miserable when we finally get the “things” we’ve wanted only to discover that we are still as unhappy as we were before! Besides that, when we spend more of our time taking care of more stuff and we have less time to enjoy our lives!

We know that those people society worships are really only mortals and shouldn’t and can’t handle the status of Deity. Nor can we rely on or put our trust solely on another person. Only God is worthy of worship. We know that true honest-to-goodness validation comes in our relationship to Him and from our other significant relationships; the kind of relationships that may take a lifetime to create; that require our sacrifice; that demand that we grow-up and face ourselves as we are.

Whew! This isn’t as simple as saying, don’t be stressed is it? As women, we must challenge the beliefs we have about what we are chasing!

Are we trying to have all and be all, all at the same time?

On the other hand, are we doing enough to promote our own growth and wellness while caring for our families?
Are we balancing our heavy responsibilities with break times?
Are we spending our time learning those skills and behaviors that would best contribute to our and our family’s health and well-being?

We must answer these questions honestly in order to “balance our boat.” And at the same time, honor our sister’s balancing of her unique boat too!

Self-care matters. It’s about cooking real, good food. It’s about sleep. {These things take time and some measure of calmness don’t they?} It’s about running hard. It’s about relaxing after that. It’s about self-respect. It’s about learning to speak up. It’s about being still. It’s about taking up more space if need be. It’s about compromise. It’s about enjoying our life with the people we love! It’s about claiming our life, our choices, our commitments.

As for me, I want to be the goddess who is spontaneously growing flowers in a wreath around her head and who sees green and growth on everything she touches! Sometimes I kind of feel like that. And I certainly don’t want to be blasting fire and spilling hot lava across the country side! But alas, at times I have done that too.

It takes a lot of courage to take responsibility for our ups and downs doesn’t it? Simply caring for ourselves better is one way we can do that. How about this mantra, “lower the stress, lower the swing”!

Also, along with getting into a sturdier head space, you might consider some hormone help, like progesterone or estrogen oil or cream. This brand has been wonderful for me. You might also read up on using maca or vitex or wild yam capsules for hormone help. Beyond hormones, look for simple, natural supplements that can help with general chemical balance. {See post titled More Than One Basket from June, 2018 for a few ideas.}

EMERITA PRO-GEST CRM,PARABEN FREE, 4 OZ

I wish you the courage to make the changes that need to be made. Even small shifts away from stress and strain will contribute to greater hormone balance.

And I hope you’ll be ultra kind to yourself in the process.

Love,

“The mission of Lioness at the Door is to uplift, strengthen and encourage women of all ages to magnify health, hope and happiness at home. We do so boldly, with humility and gratitude for the opportunity.”

Day 8- Epsom Salt Spa

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How are you coming on your challenge? I would love to hear from you!

I love Epsom salt. I use it quite a bit in a bath, in the shower {with the drain covered to hold the salt water in}, in a foot bath or for making lovely bath salts with flower petals and essential oils.

Here’s a recipe for taking a dip in your own mineral spa.

Right before bedtime, add 2-3 pounds of Epsom salts in a tub of warm water, not hot or cold.  After you’re in, run warmer water until the bath is comfortably warm. Soak for at least 20 minutes and drink a few glasses of water while you relax.

Dry off, slip into your comfiest  pj’s, and enjoy a wonderful night’s sleep.

A rested, hydrated mom, is a happy, loving mom.

Love, love, love,

P.S. To those of you who will be up with babies tonight, know your time to sleep for several hours at once will come!  Sometimes you wonder, but truly it will!  Meanwhile, get all the rest you can.  You’re going to make it.  God bless you!

“The mission of Lioness at the Door is to uplift, strengthen and encourage women of all ages to magnify health, hope and happiness at home. We do so boldly, with humility and gratitude for the opportunity.”

Day 7- Be Still

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There is so much rest and peace when we can be still inside. Even if it is for a few seconds or a few minutes.

Almost anywhere you are, you can take a deep breath, close your eyes and hold your mind still.

Let your face relax. Breathe in and as you exhale, let your shoulders relax. Sit back and straighten your torso. Let tension fall away from your arms and hands. Let your legs relax. Let tension drain from your feet.

Continue to breathe.

Soften.

Be still.

Be well.

Day 5- Warm Oil Treat

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Are the words and music, colors and pictures from the video getting inside your head? I hope so! {Heather, Stacy and the rest: I’m grateful for you talented and beautiful women! For your work on and appearance in this project! Thank you again!}

The tip for today is so simple you may think it isn’t a big deal. But please don’t be deceived by the simplicity of it! It is a powerful self-care tool.

It’s called a warm oil rub and it’s a bit of heaven.

All you need is a little olive oil, a clean cloth and a few minutes of quiet, to-yourself time. Yes, the alone part is most likely the biggest challenge isn’t it?

When you step out of the shower or bath, have your oil and cloth nearby. Simply pour a small amount of oil onto the cloth and gently rub the it into a small area of your skin with slow, circular motions. Repeat this process until you have a light layer of oil all over!

This exercise is more soothing and healing than you can imagine just thinking about it. It is nurturing and calming. Not only, calming to your mind but also calming and nourishing to your nervous system!

I hope you decide when you might be able to try this self-care treat and make it happen. Doesn’t cost much, doesn’t take much time, but it has far reaching results!

I wish you a renewed sense of calm and peace in your life.

Love,

“The mission of Lioness at the Door is to uplift, strengthen and encourage women of all ages to magnify health, hope and happiness at home. We do so boldly, with humility and gratitude for the opportunity.”