General

“Slow To Anger Is Better Than The Mighty”

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Today is one of those days that I have so much to say that I don’t know where to begin, and I wonder what kind of time it will take to make a stab at verbalizing all that is going on in my head!

Maybe a good starting point is the word, anger.

And a question: what triggers you to anger and what do you do about it when you realize you are experiencing anger, or when you are trying to do something with it other than feel it and deal with it?

I’ve been studying several subjects together, because they fit so well in broadening my understanding of each other, as complimenting variations of the same theme. A Christian view of emotions, particularly, the emotion of anger, back pain and the subconscious components of pain; codependency and principles of addiction recovery.

I am amazed how interlaced these topics are and how they support one another in helping me to understand myself, my weaknesses and my strengths, my goals and my ultimate aspirations.

But back to the question, what do we do with anger?  For today I’ll tell you what I have been thinking and reading about emotions as far as faith goes. First, I realize that I have had it in my mind that it is unholy to feel angry.  And yet I have been angry on many occasions and have felt quite justified in responding to a perceived injustice, and haven’t felt unholy, but moved to clear, and most often, decisive action that has been productive. Of course that hasn’t always been the case!  There have also been times when I have acted rashly and presumptuously and have regretted my thinking errors and the behavior that followed, for which I have had to apologize and repent! So I have been looking at the words of Christ through the lens of that belief I have had, that we shouldn’t be angry.  And this is what I find:

That it is wrong for parents to provoke their children to anger.  That the humble and charitable are slow to anger, and are difficult to offend.  That contention is evil and that the evil one stirs people to greater contention and anger. That we are commanded to put bitterness and anger away from us.  And we are warned that anger can be a sign that we are acting pridefully when someone speaks truth to us by way of correction when we have been in error.

 

What I see is that there is a difference between feeling anger and being angry, or maintaining anger as a state of being. Holy writ, as I perceive it, acknowledges that while there are things in this life that will be hurtful or threatening to us, and though we may respond with hurt or anger, it teaches that we must strive to move forward as quickly as we can by acknowledging our responsibility in our choices and by forgiving ourselves and others constantly and consistently.

More tomorrow…in the mean time I welcome your constructive comments!

Love,

Jacque

Thank Heaven For Melody Beattie

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Part of my study today led me again to Codependent No More, a marvelous tool written by Melody Beattie.

I really did give thanks for her and her work today!

So here’s a stellar quote: (It’s part of Step 6 if you’re interested to know.)

“I used to work so hard at change.  I used to call recovery an effort, hard work.  The reality was that most of what I did that I called hard work was simply worrying and fussing about what I was or wasn’t doing.  I used to roll my sleeves up, start perspiring, and then go nowhere.”

We are all in a dance of becoming aware, of putting forth effort and of letting go.  Heaven help us to know when to do what!

May you be blessed in whatever “part” you are in today.

And be blessed again tomorrow.

Love you!

Jacque

Clear It

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We got to visit an old pioneer home today.

It was built in the West, to be a fort of protection for white settlers from Indians in the late 1800’s. It was, in a sense, a simple time to live.

We women listened to our guide tell us that the dozen, five pound bread pans were used every day to bake bread for all of the travelers that would pass through on the stage coach.  We heard about the 11 year old girl who was in charge of the milk from 30 cows every day, churning butter and helping in the kitchen and the laundry.

Then there were the gardens! We saw pictures of the little boys and girls playing marble games and looking through spy glasses to see the visitors as they were afar off.
I’ve been thinking of all of the tasks and stresses of our day and how they differ from this representation of this earlier age.

Seems that in many ways we would be better off if we were eating more like they did!  Food from their gardens and milk from the cow in the barn.  Seems that they had a lot of together time, working and learning and playing together day in and day out.

That said, being under the gun to cook for 30-40 guests every day does not float my boat at all!  {I’ve been making bread all summer for just three people and it has been enough to keep me busy along with the usual cooking.}

While I am extremely grateful for my mixer and electric oven, I feel inspired by what I have seen today as far as letting go of the “fluff” and “stuff” that takes my time to care for and keep track of.  Less, so often, truly is more!

As you inventory your home and schedule, what things and activities are you identifying as non-essential that might be best discarded so as to free up your time and space?

I hope you’re feeling freer and clearer!

Love,

Jacque

To Be…

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If the world is a stage, what will you do with the scenes played today? Is there anything you’d like to change about the scenery? Or about your role?

Part of the beauty of life is that we can start over as many times as we need to. It’s a new day, and we can bring a better version of us to what life requires of us in it.

Want a better relationship with your spouse? Show kindness, not criticism. (Toward him and toward yourself!)  Want to feel better about your home? Do one thing to shift change into motion. Want to feel closer to your children? Truly observe them today and ask God to show you who they really are, what makes them tick and how you can love them better. The answers will come!

i hope you will find a measure of joy in this day!

You’re making it!

Love,

Jacque

Emotions & Stuff

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In the “lightening our load” process we inevitably find that we have emotions that are attached to our stuff.  You agree?

I just want to give a short bit of inspiration on this point.

I heard this today, but I don’t know who was quoting whom, so I’ll add to the confusion and quote it too.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

Could it be that when we look at things with an eye of gratitude and awareness for what that “thing” represents, that we can then let it go either: to free us up for the future; to bless someone else; to act as a touchstone that says we are ready to move on; or simply to acknowledge that time passes and we must make decisions and move on.

Other thoughts for letting go:

Can you take a picture of something that is sentimental and hold it in your memory that way, instead of keeping the “thing”?

Can you gift it to someone who could use it telling them how much it has meant to you and that you give a bit of your heart with it to them?

Can you replace something that is no longer useful to you, but sentimental, with something that IS useful but still represents the meaningful thing?

I think you are doing extremely well!  Don’t quit, keep going!

Love,

Jacque

Picture: It’s an old vase that was an old gift, now gone to hopefully brighten someone’s birthday.