General

Mr. Peale’s Steps

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Here is a little to-do list from The Power of Positive Thinking.

On changing a mental attitude from negative to positive: or in other words, “for shifting from error patterns to truth patterns.”

“1. For the next twenty-four hours, deliberately speak hopefully about everything, about your job, about your health, about your future.  Go out of your way to talk optimistically about everything. This will be difficult for possibly it is your habit to talk pessimistically. From this negative habit you must restrain yourself even if it requires an act of will.

2. After speaking hopefully for twenty-four hours, continue the practice for one week, then you can be permitted to be “realistic” for a day or two. You will discover that what you meant by “realistic” a week ago was actually pessimistic, but what you now mean by “realistic” is something entirely different; it is the dawning of the positive outlook. When most people say they are being “realistic” they delude themselves: they are simply being negative.

3. You must feed your mind even as you feed your body, and to make your mind healthy you must feed it nourishing, wholesome thoughts. Therefore, today start to shift your mind from negative to positive thinking. Start at the beginning of the New Testament and underscore every sentence about Faith. Continue doing this until you have marked every such passage in the four books, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Particularly note Mark 11, verses 22, 23, 24. They will serve as samples of the verses you are to underscore and fix deeply in your consciousness.

4. Then commit the underscored passages to memory. Commit one each day until you can recite the entire list from memory. This will take time, but remember you have consumed much more time becoming a negative thinker than this will requires. Effort and time will be needed to unlearn your negative pattern.

5. Make a list of your friends to determine who is the most positive thinker among them and deliberately cultivate his/her society. Do not abandon your negative friends, but get closer to those with a positive point of view for a while, until you have absorbed their spirit, then you can go back among your negative friends and give them your newly acquired thought pattern without taking on their negativism.

6. Avoid argument, but whenever a negative attitude is expressed, counter with a positive and optimistic opinion.

7. Pray a great deal and always let your prayer take the form of thanksgiving on the assumption that God is giving you great and wonderful things; for if you think He is, He surely is. God will not give you any greater blessing than you can believe in. He wants to give you great things, but even He cannot make you take anything greater than you are equipped by faith to receive…

The secret of a better and more successful life is to cast out those old dead, unhealthy thoughts. Substitute for them new vital, dynamic faith thoughts. You can depend upon it–an inflow of new thoughts will remake you and your life.”

Pretty powerful thoughts huh?

I think a few tips or clarification might be helpful too:

1. When you are working on memorization, like memorizing the scripture verses Peale suggests, add a kinesthetic component like walking or bouncing a ball or jumping on a trampoline etc. There is something magical about moving and memorizing. The movement seems to make our minds function better and the words seem to stick faster and longer!

2. When working on number six, (countering negativity with a positive), consider where validation comes into play too. If someone is upset and spouting off and just needs to be heard, countering with a positive seems counter-productive to me. Instead, validating by listening using validating phrases and questions may be better. Chances are, in a few minutes the listened-to person will drop the issue and move on to finding solutions to the problem….being heard was all that was needed. Positive mental attitude “comebacks” can be distressing to someone who needs to be heard, not feel judged or like someone is trying to shift their thinking. In other times, be the “angel’s advocate” and spout off PMA statements to your heart’s content.

3. Craft declarations that will assist you in making this shift! If you’re like me, the whole idea of changing the way you’ve always thought can be totally overwhelming and the temptation to quit before starting can be great!! Statements like, “I can learn new ways of thinking” or “I am making progress on my new thinking patterns everyday!” will be helpful and support taking baby steps until real change is underway and your momentum is showing in the way you think, speak and act.

I have felt and seen this shift happen for me and others and I know it’s possible! I hope this reminder is helpful for someone out there today!

I wish you every good thing!

Love,

Jacque

 

Think Right

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“Whatever your situation may be, you can improve it. First, quiet your mind so that inspirations

may rise from its depths. Believe that God is now helping you. Visualize achievement. Organize your life on a spiritual basis so that God’s principles work within you. Hold firmly in your mind a picture not of failure but of success. Do these things and creative thoughts will flow freely from your mind. This is an amazing law, one that can change anybody’s life including your own. An inflow of new thoughts can remake you regardless of every difficulty you may now face, and I repeat–every difficulty.”

“The secret to a better and more successful life is to cast out those old dead, unhealthy thoughts. Substitute for them new vital, dynamic faith thoughts. You can depend upon it–an inflow of new thoughts will remake you and your life.”

Norman Vincent Peale, The Power of Positive Thinking

Wow! So true!

Love ya!

Jacque

P.S. I heard a teenage boy quote his dad on Father’s Day as saying,
“What do whiners get? Nothin’!”
It was funny, especially coming for a fourteen year old boy.
In like manner, I’d have to say,
“What do lazy thinkers get? Negative!”
If we want to improve ourselves and our circumstances, we must improve our thinking and that takes work and dedicated effort! But it can be done!

Loving Life Now!

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Do you live where lilacs grow?

These beauties came from my yard and my dad’s yard.

They only last for a short time and they are beautiful and smell heavenly!

Like these flowers and so many important things in life, the beautiful moments must be seized before they are gone! Seasons come and go before you know it’s happening.

Little boy voices grow into deep men’s voices. Little hands become big and far away. Opportunities to read stories and sit in sandboxes and look at rocks and take naps disappear before your eyes.

It really doesn’t matter much if you’re in the middle of a mess. Or if the garage hasn’t gotten straightened up yet. Or if you have work that seems to never end. Or if the kids aren’t in great harmony with each other all of the time. It’s ok. Life is still beautiful now. But you have to shift your focus to see it. {How I wish I could have written these words to my 30 year old self!}

Today, I challenge you to hear and see and smell and feel and rejoice in your world and in your family! Just as they are today.

Tomorrow comes too soon.

Sniff. Sniff. {My children know that means real tears!}

You’re doing great!

Love,

Jacque

Is There an Adult in The House?

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Who is in charge at your house?

That seems like a quirky question I know, but really, who calls the shots?

I’ve been reminded several times in the last few days that a parent’s role is so critical that it can’t be part of a popularity contest!

Do we want our children to like us? Sure! Do we want them to be happy and have good things come their way? Of course!

But, if we’re so worried about rocking their boat, so-to-speak, that we habitually hesitate to offer course corrections or let them wade through the consequences of their choices, especially when they are difficult, we are doing them a great disservice.

Yep, there might be other people that can have casual, light and fun relationships with our kids, but they aren’t in the parenting role. We are.

Sure, kids can benefit greatly from friends and coaches and mentors and extended family members and that’s awesome! But let’s not get misguided in thinking that we want to be liked and have life be fun and smooth so much that we don’t step in and parent our kids.

I am overjoyed {often!} as I observe parents who are supportive and clear. Tough and tender. When they are willing to deal with a child who is temporarily upset by needing to deal with correction and consequences. You are doing an amazing work! I salute you!

Our children are depending on us to be kind, gentle, respectful and firm. {Do you know which one of those words is most difficult for you to “do”? I do and I’m working on it!} I’m convinced that our children’s welfare is the most motivating reason out there for us to grow-up ourselves and take responsibility for our own words, actions and basic behavior! They need us to be adults, so we need to do whatever it takes to move forward.

Best wishes to you as you practice, practice and practice some more. I’ve been parenting for 30 years and I am still practicing!

Don’t quit! Just take it a day at a time and you’ll become, over time, the solid, happy parent you can envision yourself being.

Love to you today my friend,

Jacque

P.S. Being a Lioness at the Door of you home is much easier when you are taking breaks, feeding yourself good food and keeping things as simple as possible. It takes solid self-care to make a solid parent! Bless you for your efforts!

A Little Bug

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Just a reminder on this summer day:

Yes, you can (and should!) correct your children’s behavior.

Remember the validation checklist though as you prepare to make yourself and your boundaries clear. Is what you need to say and how you will say it, kind? Gentle? Respectful? And firm?

When you have those four elements, not just one or two, but all four, you’re good to go.

Kids need boundaries and thrive on knowing where those boundaries are. It feels safe and makes life more predictable.

I hope you will feel success in your efforts today!

Love,

Jacque

P.S. If you aren’t using the four validating words with yourself, chances are you won’t be able to employ them well with your family. Be kind, gentle, respectful and firm in your own head, about yourself. Model boundaries in this way and watch your kids respond to you more positively. You’re doing great!