Marriage

Marriage help

Taking Counsel From Your Faith

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In seminar, we are working on mindset. Why? Because your mindset is crucial to the health and functioning of your family!

By this I mean that when you are in a place of positivity and learning, when you are defending yourself against negative thinking and deception, when you are resilient and able to deal with adversity, then you are leading your family by example to greater growth and health.

Cultivating a positive outlook is a task that requires practice, practice and more practice. Do you know how many negative thoughts you have every day? What do you do with those thoughts?

In seminar, we are practicing the skill of recognizing negatives, mentally shifting them to positives and sending them back out in new, true positive statements.

It’s a boundary thing.

No more wallowing in self-depreciating, self-pitying mind chatter.

No more listening to doubts and dramas and fears, as if they are the counselors who are giving us a shot of what we might think of as hard reality. But are negative thoughts really helpful? Should we take counsel from our fears? No.

No, they just keep us down and struggling.

I hope you’ll join us as we learn with humility and sobriety, to right the wrongs that may be habitually happening in our thought processes.

You could ask a friend to hold you accountable. You could share the challenge with one of your kids and work on it together.

I wish you the strength that will come as you spend more and more of your energy in thinking of the true and the beautiful in your life!

You are beautiful my friend!

Love,

Jacque

Spirituality

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What does spirituality mean to you? Some see spirituality as a practice, maybe a time to be alone in nature or to quiet the mind. Others feel it is learning to meditate or exercise. Yet one definition I read lately, that really strikes true to me, read along these lines:

Unselfishness.
Courage of the soul.
Expressions of love.
Surrender for something higher than self.
Loyalty to goodness.
Doing, being and living for good.
Victory over self.
Communion with the Infinite.

Since we are in the thick of a self-in-the-center culture, this kind of outward-looking, service-mindedness and priority driven behavior offers great perspective. Expecting personal growth and progress without learning interdependence and teamwork is like trying to become a winning soccer player without a team.

Our world is full of people like you who are giving and loving. I believe you are the majority though you may not seem to receive a lot of public attention.

I hope our society can cultivate a level of spirituality that will help us to hold onto the good in everyone we meet, learn to forget self, reach out to others and continue to expand our most generous instincts.

Love to you today!
Jacque

P.S. Reaching out and “forgetting self” does not mean self-neglect. {After all, how can we give when we are exhausted or ill?} It’s a tricky concept, but because we are human and have constant needs for sleep and food and exercise, we have to learn to balance caring for self and caring for others. And all we can do is try and practice and learn as we go!

One rule is to first fill your cup, then go about sharing with those around you. If you are trying to function with an empty cup, your ability to give generously will be stifled or cease. What ways do you need to be fed? Rested? Nurtured? Please plug some of those needed things into your schedule today. Call the chiropractor. Make an appointment to get your eyes checked. Take an hour for a massage. Whatever it is that you currently need in order to be in balance, take the first step to put that care into motion. Today.
P.P.S. I hope you have a great week finding ways to strengthen yourself in order to contribute your gifts to your family, friends and community! I wish you well!

 

Picture Your Life

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I had the opportunity to visit with a client as school was starting a few weeks ago. She wanted to clarify her goals and talk about a few trouble spots that were causing her some uncertainty and a little frustration. It was a great visit!

I admire that kind of “I-am-a-life-long-learner” attitude! How much can be gained by proactively asking for feedback, taking opportunities to think out loud and then claiming responsibility to move things forward.

Wherever you are, I hope that you feel that you are teaching and learning. There will never been a moment when we won’t need to learn something new! Or to learn something again. That is life.

I wish you health and happiness as you strengthen yourself and your family.

Be well.

Love,

Jacque

The World

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“Run away to a village to make it the center of the world.” Jules Renard

What is home if not the familiar, comfortable place where you can enjoy each other’s company and at times find a corner to enjoy a good book? To cook and to eat; to learn and to play.

Isn’t it amazing that there are no two homes just alike? Maybe that is because there are no two people, no two mothers or fathers or children who are just alike.

What we need and what we want and what we create is uniquely “us.”

What concerns me at times is the growing feeling that our places of retreat seem to have to be places for show. That somehow our kitchen needs to be Pinterest worthy…all the time. 

Just wanted to throw out a reminder to you today that life is a bit messy and wonderful and always in flux! You don’t have to have anything in perfection or hold it for show. Cleanliness is good. Order is wonderful! But it happens in spurts! Then things go back into creation mode while homework is being done or a project is being completed or dinner is being cooked.

Life is more about the state of our being than the state of our belongings. We can be in gratitude even in the middle of dinner dishes!

Whatever you have, love it. Embrace it in your mind and give thanks for the chance to learn to flex your creative muscles, and make sense out of the bits and pieces of the world that are yours.

Smile at your children and hold them close, even before all the jobs are done. Tomorrow will bring more choices, more progress and each day will bring times to celebrate the evolution of your unique family.

Let go of your worry and stress about the appearance of things, and breathe in the blessings of the day.

Sending my love to you!

Jacque

P.S. A wise friend once told me that the world is wherever you are.

Kind Anticipation

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I learned a lesson from a friend many years ago that I’ve been grateful for since.

She and her husband and young children came from a long distance to visit us.  As they came in the door, my friend opened a bag she had prepared with snacks for her  kids and started to feed them. It struck me that she hadn’t waited until they started getting cranky or misbehaving before she gave them what she already knew they would need: a timely snack after a long car-ride. Nor did she expect or ask someone else to take over and provide what her family needed in that hour.

It sounds really simple, but it was a mind-shift for me.

How many times do we find ourselves cluing in that someone is having a melt-down because they need something to eat or a nap or some one-on-one attention? And how many of those stressful situations could we alleviate if we had thought ahead and anticipated their basic needs before they arose?

And what about your needs? Do you anticipate that you may need a snack before you start making dinner? Or that you might need a nap the afternoon before a date night with your spouse?

What about after school? Who is going to be hungry? What a perfect opportunity to be prepared with fresh fruits and vegetables! Maybe a simple, healthy cookie recipe? Or a veggie-packed smoothie?

Life doesn’t have to be a sequence of putting out proverbial fires because of the ordinary, everyday needs of a family. The unpredictable, stressful things that happen are enough of a challenge!  Which fact makes it doubly nice to acknowledge what needs we can foresee and then do our best to proactively prepare to care for ourselves and our loved ones.

What recurring situations would be improved by your efforts to plan ahead to meet your family’s needs, before those needs turn into extra stress and strain for everyone?

I’m wishing you rest. And hope. And peace. And a few new plans if need be!

Love,

Jacque

P.S. You mothers of nursing babies: Hang in there and do your best to rest when you possibly can! Worry as little as possible. Ask for help. Mostly, know that the days of better sleep will come again. Bless you for all you are doing in caring for your little ones! I believe your prayers are heard!