Time for another rant. You’ve been warned! xo
How many times a day do you hear that the world has gone crazy? That our prisons are full and the government is corrupt and X number of countries are bankrupt and that men are untrustworthy and that the air is unsafe to breathe and….you know the list.
And do you wonder why many of our media sources highlight and dramatize these problems further? And why millions of dollars spent are on creating horror “entertainment”? And why games are created to entice children into virtual spaces where they become objectified and preyed upon by addicted, criminal adults?
I think the resounding answer, the sun bursting through the clouds and angels singing, (in this case maybe they are singing, “Duh to the world!”) is that:
We have given away our human connections.
We’ve collectively traded real, living neighbors for virtual pseudo relationships. We’ve gone from home in search of something “out there.” Some greater accomplishment. Some other life that isn’t as raw and difficult and human.
Some of us need to earn a living, and many who do, do a beautiful job keeping family first amidst daunting challenges of balance. And some of us, with a little sacrifice can have the luxury of being home and devoting our time and talents and ambition to home and family.
But I’m talking about the epidemic of children being on their own, of a society that has little use for supporting parents in making their children their top poiority. The idea that children are there to fulfill our dreams and that they can fit neatly into our insane, self-made schedules. Seems that on a whole, society has bought into the idea that women are of far greater value and their contribution to society is more profound, when they leave home and family and enter the “real” world, where they can be all they want to be. Fulfilled and equal and respected.
We have foolishly bought into the idea that more and more and more of things equals more and more and more contentment and happiness and peace. Are we kidding?
What are we thinking?
Well, to be fair, we’re really not thinking, we’re just watching the construed, contrived models that show us, pictures headed straight into our subconscious brains, that when we have x, y or z, we will be vogue and “in” and of course, so much happier and socially acceptable. (Behavioral psychology holds that you don’t have to control a group, you only need to control the model they are watching.)
So what that often this expectation requires women, hurrying and stressed, to drag their children half asleep to the sitter every morning? So that they can run all day and work under deadlines and get to the gym and then feel oppressed by all that needs to be done at home when they have no energy left to give? I fail to see the wisdom, if you are at liberty to choose a simpler lifestyle, in making the sacrifice of giving up the role of greatest human impact for lesser things. And especially if it is simply for the oh-so-fleeting praise and honor of a soul-sick society.
Let me say this: if you find yourself on a regular day like today surrounded by people you love no matter how demanding they can be, who love you and need you and find solace in your being; if you have a roof over your head and food to eat and books to read and music to play and the sun in the sky and birds flying overhead…if you have a place to hear silence and maybe even a piece of earth that you can plant…then you are living in the pinnacle of life. You have, right now, all the true luxury and sticky kisses and soul-strengthening life that can be found. This is the coveted prize.
So, go ahead and work your guts out teaching your children to get along. You keep on keeping order and model again and again that cleanliness reigns. Continue to watch your tongue and apologize when it runs away without you. You keep fighting for your marriage and for the real, sweet intimacy you crave, and don’t you quit! Keep using those relationship strengthening words and phrases that hopefully your mother taught you, “I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you.” And by all means, keep striving for the balance, wether you are in the home full time or part, that keeps family relationships at the top of your priority list.
Because, society can’t afford the outcome of children being unattached. Because, at home you are in the real world. That other photo-shopped, have-it-all, everything’s tidy, what’s-wrong-with-you, gloss-it-over, don’t get your hands dirty, I-just-need-to-be-me world is a fraud.
Home. That is where real living is happening! And if you think that there is something that you are missing in the way of glam and lights and fame and glory, you’re just understandably mistaken.
So dig in! Love your life! Look at your children! Give them the comfort of your comfort. The peace of your peace. Let them see your wide-eyed curiosity about the wide, wonderful world of nature, and you see theirs! Bask in them, love them, connect, connect, connect! And that connected-ness will go a long way in immunizing their souls against addiction, helplessness and despair. And they will carry your bond wherever they are and literally raise society to a more functional and happy state. And if you must be away from your loved ones, simplify your commitments and spend all of the time you possibly can teaching and loving them.
Do what you need to do, but don’t bases your decisions on a myth. You aren’t missing a thing out there. Unless. Unless the illusion of what you might be missing is clouding your vision to the point that you are half asleep and unaware of the riches that are yours in this moment. Those little ones and the relationship you have with them and your spouse and extended family and friends, that is the coveted prize.
So a question:
What is one tiny thing you could do right now that would make you more able to connect with yourself, your spouse and your children? Your parents, your siblings and your neighbors? Are there tasks that are taking dividing your precious family time that could be delegated or let go altogether?
Got something in mind?
Ok, just do that. Just rethink it and use your creative genius to benefit your family.
AND LOVE YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW.
I love you.
And I wish you strength and vision and more joy than you can hold.
“… the act of deserting home in order to shape society is like thoughtlessly removing crucial fingers from an imperiled dike in order to teach people to swim.” Maxwell