Marriage help



This month in the 7 Steps to Family Wellness seminar, we are working on turning down the emotional noise in our environment and later we’ll be working on our schedules.

That means that we are going room by room through our homes and taking notes about trouble spots. What clutter is filling the corners? What projects are unfinished? What cupboards or closets scream at us when we open the door?

This kind of “noise” in our homes is like an emotional flashing light trying to get our attention. But when those flashing lights have been blinking for too long, our minds acclimate to them and even though they may still be blinking, we can’t hear the sound. At least not in our consciousness. But the weight and noise is there under the surface and is taking up emotional energy that could be used elsewhere more effectively! 

Hence the home walk-through with a paper and pencil. Just for awareness sake.

Once we see again what we may have been trying to ignore, for as many reasons as there are people, we can make simple plans to take baby steps toward creating the peaceful, creative spaces that will serve our families better.

Would you like to join us in this assignment?

Here’s how:
Take an inventory of each room and storage space.
Make simple notes on what could be done to improve each area.
Add larger projects to your vision board.
Make a priority list for small items and start today to put out the noise.

My first item was straightening the top shelf of my clothes closet.

It has been bugging me, which is ironic because it ended up only taking about ten minutes to get things pulled out, sorted, and what I wanted to keep put back. Aaah, no more noise there!

Oftentimes, when it gets right down to it, many of the things that irritate us can be remedied with a few minutes of concerted effort. {Then we wonder why we put up with the mess for so long!}

Tomorrow the bathroom cupboard. {Most likely another ten minutes.}

For my vision board, I’ll add the bigger projects of painting doors and finishing the linen closet in the basement.

What is bothering you?

Will you join us in this step, and work on putting out the proverbial noise in your home?


P.S. If you come along with the group, please remember that simple, small steps forward mean progress! Please don’t allow yourself to become overwhelmed and shut-down your creative juices! I know from sad experience, and I’ll bet you may know too that overwhelm can lead to frustration and unkind expectations of yourself and your family members. Please go simply and kindly, showing compassion for yourself and others as you do your best to improve your family’s home environment. Easy does it.

Unwind on Purpose


Just a reminder-

Taking care of oneself is productive.

Maybe even more productive than most things that we think are worthy of our time.

Without our humor, our health and flexibility, we can’t do the things we dream of doing or just those things we want to get done.

Patience is involved right? When you know you need to spend precious time unwinding and decompressing, taking the time to do that may mean pushing back a project or other responsibility that is pressing us for attention.

It may also mean some clear boundaries with those we love. Is it time for a date night with your spouse? Is it time for you to have an hour to think and relax so that you can keep going?

Filling our self-care cup pays dividends over and over and over again. I know this. You know this. Hopefully we will get better and better at taking care of ourselves until self-nurture has become a firm pattern in the tapestry of our lives!

I hope your cup is brimming over.


P.S. The other thing we know is that our daughters are watching! Heaven help us!


Be Here Now!


Don’t wait until everything is in place to breathe!

Or for your to-do list to be crossed-off. {Can a few baby steps toward having your long-term projects be done and doing your daily chores as you go along, count it as productive? Because any movement forward is progress!}

Or wait for a sunnier day!

Use your courage, vision, kindness, wisdom, patience and mostly your love to connect with your family today!

They need your unique love and your smiling acceptance.

Open your arms. Open your heart. Breathe in deeply, let your shoulders relax and smile.

Today is what we have. Tomorrow will have cares of it’s own.

“Now is the time to seize the day!”


“When the first child laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies.” Hook


Learning Any Way


Whether we are telling our brains to think and speak well of ourselves and others, and we’re rehearsing positives on purpose day in and day out {and reaping the happy benefits} or, if we are telling our brains to listen to negatives and believe negatives and speak of negatives and rehearse negatives, {and suffering the outcome of that focus}, either way we are training our minds. 

So I guess the only question to ask oneself is: in which state do I want to live my life?

I love that starting-with-the-end-in-mind idea! Decide on the consequence you want and do what it takes to get it!

Here’s to cultivating- yes, that’s a verb, and verbs mean effort- a happy, healthy mind and heart that leads to a happy, healthy you.

What a joy it is to be around people who are in love.

Love to you!


Servant Leader Loves


We sometimes get confused. We might ask ourselves, “If I commend myself for a job well-done, am I proud?” or “If I berate myself, does that make me humble?”

I’d say, no and no.

I just finished cleaning the kitchen. It was one job in the middle of 15 others that was calling for my attention this morning. But I am on a path of “first things first” and I knew that leaving dishes behind breakfast would be unsettling and detrimental to the rest of the day. So I took myself by the hand, shut out the clamor of other projects and needs making a play for my attention, and I led myself to the sink. When I finished, I said, in my head, “good job Jacque, you focused in and got the kitchen clean. Way to go!”

Is that prideful? No, it’s coaching. It’s acknowledging a small success that I plan to build upon today. It’s self-help at it’s finest to comfort and encourage oneself.

What if I had gone into a tirade about all the things that need to be done and beat myself up for not being further ahead or taking on too much or, or, or….. Would that be helpful? Would I feel enlivened and buoyed up? No!

Funny thing is, when we live in the negatives, when we cultivate a voice of despair and discouragement or self-loathing, that awfulness oozes out onto the people we love even thought we don’t want it to! We feel lousy about ourselves and aren’t they an extension of us? We criticize as a past time. We find fault out of habit.

Servant leadership is about true humility, which is knowing who we are in relationship to God, and being willing to be led and taught by Him, which leads to being filled with His love for ourselves and others.

We can serve best when we are in His love.

We must hear and correct the way we speak to ourselves if need be, in order to be in love!

What loving words do you have for yourself right now, today? Please, please say them! You deserve words that are encouraging and positive. Find them and say them, and let them spill out to your children and your spouse!

Sending you my appreciation for the love you give every day that makes the world better for us all! Thank you!



P.S. I would love to hear the words you come up with in the comments! Please share and inspire the Lioness community!