Mothering

Inspiration on parenting

Very Well!

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Just a note to say, “Good work today!”

As you look back on this day, you may wonder if you did enough, or if you handled things well-

You may consider your efforts to keep peace and create order as lacking or you may be tempted to compare yourself to someone you know who seems to have everything together, and you may feel that you come up short when looking through that lens-faulty though it be.

You may wonder if you’ll last beyond sleeplessness, or if you will be able to make it through a challenging stage or growing pains that your child or your work or your marriage may be going through.

But just so you know, you’re not alone!

Many women before you have experienced and wondered the same things, and many women before you have made it beyond the very stage of life you’re in and not only lived to tell, but look back on it with wistful fondness. What an amazing time of personal growth!

I hope you’ll remember to take it just one day at a time. One story at a time. One meal at a time. One nap at a time. One prayer, one laundry day, one walk at a time.

I appreciate your dedication, investing your heart and soul and time and energy into raising well-connected and well-loved children. You amaze me!

I hope you can get some good rest; think about your successes; ask for and feel Heaven’s help and enjoy the time you have with your little ones as much as you possibly can.

You’re doing wonderfully well. Far better than you may know.

Rest well,
Jacque

 

Photo by The HK Photo Company on Unsplash

 

 

Feminine and Fine

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I am hearing some business and thought leaders saying that femininity is needed in our world. Hurrah!

Yes, yes I completely agree! And I’m encouraged by the growing realization that when women shift into a driven, competitive, aggressive masculine energy, it brings more imbalance to our world instead of the feminine counter balance and blessed relief that is needed! {Does it go without saying that the world at large is heavy on hardcore and light on lullabies?}

As feminine women, we can accomplish many desperately important things.

We can create things. (In fact, isn’t that the biggest accomplishment our biology affords us?)

But many of our balancing contributions come simply as we accomplish what needs to be done in a feminine way.

Why? Because the world needs tenderness; we can be tender.

The world needs strength and wisdom; we can be strong and wise.

The world needs leadership; we can lead out with gentle optimism.

The world needs to feel loved and validated; we can love and validate!

The world needs voices of reason, organization, administration, discernment, courage and kindness. Let us be those voices; women’s voices.

I hope we can tap into and embrace our most feminine selves, and the men in our lives, our counterparts, and together find joy and peace and balance in the coming year!

Embracing the soft, gentle, compassionate, assertive, inviting traits that are ours to embody… and allowing our men to develop their protective, providing masculinity.

Best wishes to you sister!

Love,
Jacque

P. S. In large part, we will accomplish our feminine missions by embracing self-nourishing self-care. 

I hope you’ve recovered from the holidays and have started making plans for new and improved self-caring habits in the new year. {One of those for me is getting my ducks lined-up for Christmas sooner next time around!}

P. P. S. Remember, our feminine energy draws others to us, versus chasing them down. Food for thought isn’t it?

Another word for the ability to draw others to us is attractiveness. And generally speaking, the most attractive thing I can think of is a smiling face. Hopefully our children and spouses will see our smiling faces today and tomorrow and next week! And maybe, because of our joy, our daughters might feel to embrace their femininity in happy ways too!

Time to Grow

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I received sweet clarity after I prayed recently and told my Heavenly Father all I was feeling. {I love the true validation Heaven sends!} Feelings about my efforts to balance my life and appropriately support my children and grandchildren; about my own inadequacy and occasional embarrassment; about sorrow and perplexity, followed by a plea for greater understanding and peace. {Do you ever pray this prayer?}

I felt and learned again, that we are all very much alike. We all need and want validation, grace, understanding, compassion and forgiveness too. And importantly, that we all were given weakness so that we can be humble. Yes, weak on purpose!

So if by chance you are feeling challenged by life; if you wonder if you have what it takes to be a good wife and mother; if you have decisions to make and problems to unravel; know that you are in the good company of all of God’s children!

And we women must remember that when we allow our weaknesses to serve us by helping us to be humble before God, He will teach us and lead us along. And with that understanding, we can refrain from self-criticism and see the purpose and wisdom of our blessed humanness.

All is well.

We’re here and learning…Glory hallelujah!

Much love to you,
Jacque

P.S. Are you thinking about plans and goals for the New Year?! I can’t wait to get mine thought through and fleshed-out!

P.P.S. Would you consider adding personal coaching or Lioness seminar to the ways you can facilitate growth and change in a big way in 2019? Both are life-changing and affordable if you’re ready for the ride!

“Oh, I Can Feel It!”

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{That is a Kronk quote in case you haven’t seen the Emperor’s New Groove lately.}

Only I’m talking about feeling the power of validation!

Don’t be a “baaaaad llama”; to validate, have your ears open and mouth shut!
{I couldn’t resist this picture!}

When your child has a problem and they come to you in anger or frustration and blurt out who is being mean or what happened on the way home from school or what their teacher said, using validating phrases and questions can help them sort through their problem and arrive at their own resolution. 

They need to know you’re listening, so give them your full attention.

Then they will know that you care.

The powerful part is that, when you are in a groove of validating others, you feel the heady lightness of knowing you aren’t carrying everyone else’s problems! Not only do we not need to assume other people’s problems, but we mustn’t override when problem solving is within their reach because it serves as a catalyst to their own growth and maturation.

Lend a listening ear without feeling the need to fix the problems you may hear.

Validate your own growth and practice solving what problems that are yours to solve.

Practice, practice, practice. 

That’s what we’re all doing!

Love to you,
Jacque

P.S. For more inspiration on this topic on the Lioness blog, search posts with the word validation! Hope it helps!

Your Alpha

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Remember the song from Alice In Wonderland that says, “I give myself such very good advice, but I very seldom follow it”?

It makes me smile because I have sung it under my breath on a few occasions when I realized that I’d earned a consequence I didn’t want because I didn’t do what I knew was best for me!

So, from experience I offer a look at one way of thinking that may help that Alice in all of us. Maybe help a lot!

It’s the thought that, now that we’re adults, we need to become our own alpha! We may have the voices of parents or grandparents or siblings or friends sounding in our heads, giving us advice, but now, we need to steer our own ship and make our own decisions.

We need to get really good at hearing our own voice, particularly the voice of our best alpha self!

The alpha self isn’t a victim. She’s in charge of how she responds to what happens in her life.

The alpha self isn’t waiting to have someone else make the decisions, she is making those that are hers to make.

She is thinking for herself, she is coaching herself, and she is following her own best advice.

When you get tired, your alpha self may say, “Woman, it’s time to stop what you are doing and get ready for bed.” {In a kind, gentle, respectful and firm voice!}

Your alpha self hears whining almost before it starts and puts her foot down to drown it out instead with the voice of ownership and action.

Our alpha know so much. We need to cultivate her voice in our heads, give her the lead and then follow her very sound counsel.

Being true to our own alpha self, showing integrity with ourselves, may make it more likely that our children will listen to us too. 

The bottom line is this: Our children need us to keep growing-up!

They need mature parents and they deserve to be taught and led to a bright future. If other motivations have failed, hopefully the love and hopes we have for our children will give us the deep why we need to stand taller, take stock of where we are, see where we want to be, and give us the grit to get there!

Being our own alpha is being an adult. And it feels so much better than wallowing or grovelling or regretting or moaning or deferring.

Much love to you today!
Jacque

P.S. While reading this post, try not to think of someone in your family that might need to listen to their alpha more often! Just lead out. By self-directing and self-managing, we teach without words! And immediately the game changes and improves! When just one person rises up and takes responsibility for themselves, many others are inspired and happily follow suit!