Self-care ideas

Ideas and inspiration about the need to care for ones self

Spend vs. Invest

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Just a note about goal-setting for the new year…

Be strong. Have vision. Lead out.

One surefire way to bomb out on goals is to set big goals and then fail to break them down into bite-size pieces!

In Lioness coaching, we write out a vision for the year, then specific goals followed by small steps for each month and then baby steps for weeks and days.

Besides that, time-blocking pages help to create new healthy habits and mind-training skills that help to keep us mentally energized and focused on what matters most.

Lastly, I heard a quote yesterday from a very wise person:

“Are you spending your time or investing it?” Certainly, time spent thinking, praying and planning is time invested in the healthy functioning of your family! And that investment is magnified because your focus on the goals you set will help you to continue to invest your time by living your life deliberately.

That quote helps me so much, and I hope it is helpful to you too as you consider your vision for the coming year!

I wish you every happiness, health and growth in the year to come. Thank you for shining your light everywhere you go!

Love,
Jacque

P.S. The foot work is already done for visioneering, goal-setting/ break-down and scheduling in the Lioness planner! I’d love you to have this kind of support in the important work you are doing at home!

P.P.S. There are pictures of our latest design in the post called “My Plan.” Check them out if you haven’t already!

Lake at Evening

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How are you doing this beautiful winter solstice night my friend?

Are you enjoying your family and friends, or are you uptight and trying to squeeze in a few more preparations for Christmas? {Without the uptight part, can we do both, prepare and enjoy?}

Every year, I learn a little bit more about stress! About what works for me and what I want to do differently next year! Especially, how stress keeps me from feeling “the love.”

Wherever you are in your evolution as a mother at Christmastime, I want to challenge you (and me) to do something right now:

Do one small thing to take care of yourself. Small. Right now.

It could be taking five deep breaths and saying a prayer of gratitude for what you are learning.

It could be taking a hot bath by candle light.

It could be asking someone for a foot massage.

It could be reading a good book for ten minutes.

It could be making a cup of peppermint tea and sipping on it while you wrap gifts!

It could be repeating the mantra, “I like myself, I love myself,” ten times.

It could be making a list of “helpful tips to self” for next year’s holiday season!

We are all human. We are all learning. We are all in need of grace and forgiveness and many, many second chances.

God grant us the wisdom to; do the work to learn, to get better and to be fully alive while we are here.

Sending you Christmas love tonight. You are a blessing. Thank you for inspiring me and for serving your wonderful families.

May your healthy traditions become treasured memories.
Sincerely,
Jacque

Joy, Contentment & Humor

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On good days,

and in challenging times.

When we’re together,

or even when we’re apart.

When we feel strong,

and when we feel in need of strengthening.

When we are confident and moving forward-

or when we are standing still, trying to take our bearings.

When we feel calm and rested,

and when we feel at a loss…

At all of these times, joy, contentment and humor can be a part of our lives.

We can feel loss and still know that all is well.

We can go through changes we may not have chosen, and still find humor and joy in our hearts as we find our way.

We can make a new plan and start down a new road and feel contentment alongside adventure and adjustment.

In all times, I wish you lighthearted joy, contentment, humor and peace.

Much love to you,
Jacque

“Oh, I Can Feel It!”

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{That is a Kronk quote in case you haven’t seen the Emperor’s New Groove lately.}

Only I’m talking about feeling the power of validation!

Don’t be a “baaaaad llama”; to validate, have your ears open and mouth shut!
{I couldn’t resist this picture!}

When your child has a problem and they come to you in anger or frustration and blurt out who is being mean or what happened on the way home from school or what their teacher said, using validating phrases and questions can help them sort through their problem and arrive at their own resolution. 

They need to know you’re listening, so give them your full attention.

Then they will know that you care.

The powerful part is that, when you are in a groove of validating others, you feel the heady lightness of knowing you aren’t carrying everyone else’s problems! Not only do we not need to assume other people’s problems, but we mustn’t override when problem solving is within their reach because it serves as a catalyst to their own growth and maturation.

Lend a listening ear without feeling the need to fix the problems you may hear.

Validate your own growth and practice solving what problems that are yours to solve.

Practice, practice, practice. 

That’s what we’re all doing!

Love to you,
Jacque

P.S. For more inspiration on this topic on the Lioness blog, search posts with the word validation! Hope it helps!

Your Alpha

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Remember the song from Alice In Wonderland that says, “I give myself such very good advice, but I very seldom follow it”?

It makes me smile because I have sung it under my breath on a few occasions when I realized that I’d earned a consequence I didn’t want because I didn’t do what I knew was best for me!

So, from experience I offer a look at one way of thinking that may help that Alice in all of us. Maybe help a lot!

It’s the thought that, now that we’re adults, we need to become our own alpha! We may have the voices of parents or grandparents or siblings or friends sounding in our heads, giving us advice, but now, we need to steer our own ship and make our own decisions.

We need to get really good at hearing our own voice, particularly the voice of our best alpha self!

The alpha self isn’t a victim. She’s in charge of how she responds to what happens in her life.

The alpha self isn’t waiting to have someone else make the decisions, she is making those that are hers to make.

She is thinking for herself, she is coaching herself, and she is following her own best advice.

When you get tired, your alpha self may say, “Woman, it’s time to stop what you are doing and get ready for bed.” {In a kind, gentle, respectful and firm voice!}

Your alpha self hears whining almost before it starts and puts her foot down to drown it out instead with the voice of ownership and action.

Our alpha know so much. We need to cultivate her voice in our heads, give her the lead and then follow her very sound counsel.

Being true to our own alpha self, showing integrity with ourselves, may make it more likely that our children will listen to us too. 

The bottom line is this: Our children need us to keep growing-up!

They need mature parents and they deserve to be taught and led to a bright future. If other motivations have failed, hopefully the love and hopes we have for our children will give us the deep why we need to stand taller, take stock of where we are, see where we want to be, and give us the grit to get there!

Being our own alpha is being an adult. And it feels so much better than wallowing or grovelling or regretting or moaning or deferring.

Much love to you today!
Jacque

P.S. While reading this post, try not to think of someone in your family that might need to listen to their alpha more often! Just lead out. By self-directing and self-managing, we teach without words! And immediately the game changes and improves! When just one person rises up and takes responsibility for themselves, many others are inspired and happily follow suit!