Self-care ideas

Ideas and inspiration about the need to care for ones self

You Need It!




Do you ever get to feeling that you are run ragged?  That you are coming apart at the seams? That the clothes aren’t fitting or the haircut is desperate or a million and two other issues have come up that are adding to your sense of disarray?

First a truth:  My friend, if you are in the role of nurturing others, YOU NEED NURTURING.

You need women in your life.  You need a hug.  You need a haircut.  You need a massage. You need a smile and a listening ear. We don’t give much nurturing when we don’t or won’t receive any!  Instead of being warm and gracious, we get tactless and demanding.  Instead of offering clarity and comfort, we bite people’s heads off and let others fend for themselves in times when we ought not.

So, if you happen to be in the habit of self-neglect, I imagine the question you may be asking is how can I possibly have the time or the money or __________ to make that happen?  Let me give you a little love here.

Remember the thing about feminine energy?  That it is drawing energy not pushy and hunting-you-down kind of energy? {One of the sure-fire ways to know if you are out of your native space is to think about how you are going about dealing with people in your life.  Drawing or chasing?}

Well, you use that feminine energy and you draw it to you.  As a daughter, you humbly ask God for help.  You loose the attitude. (That in fact was the answer I received to a prayer not long ago! “Jacque, loose the attitude so I can help you.” I was corrected, so I’m passing on the love.) You trade a friend for babysitting so that you can get your haircut.  You kindly, gently, respectfully and firmly let your spouse know that you need some care and ask for his support. And, then you reciprocate so that his needs can be met as well.

Please, please, please don’t walk around whining and complaining about the world and every one in it!  Please don’t allow your words to be a proverbial downpour on someone’s day because you are feeling neglected. You can stop being or feeling neglected this very minute.

Decide to change.

Help yourself.

Nurture yourself.

Be kind to yourself.

Get the assistance you need.

Did you know that you are most powerful when you are in a place of self-acceptance and self-love?

And the beauty is that you don’t have to wait for the ills of society to be healed first before you help yourself to live happily and in balance.

Need help?  Get a counselor.  Get a coach.  Find someone to which you can hold yourself accountable.

Change. Let go.  Repent.  Create the life you want.

Ok now, how do I sign-off after a rant like this?

I believe in you!  You can do this!  And your marriage and family will be all the better for it!

Yep, that’s it.














Confident? It Shows!


Ever notice how you get along with other people when you are ‘in your groove’?  When you’re really feeling good about yourself, do you find that you get along better with your spouse, for instance? When you’re comfortable in your own skin, it’s so much easier to laugh, to take other people lightly, to laugh at your own mistakes and move on isn’t it?

Here’s an experiment to try:

Next time you have a scuffle or even a simple misunderstanding with someone, check in with yourself and see how you were feeling before the problem arose.  What was your self-talk that day? Did you feel happy and self-assured, or were you feeling down on yourself about something?  {This seems to be particularly true in a marriage relationship!} Feeling sick or tired or hungry or grouchy or unattractive? That’s usually the time the guard goes down and the negative and critical voice takes over. Not only does it berate you, but then the thoughts will come that the current problem or situation is actually your spouses fault. Am I right?

It is absolutely astounding to me when this reality hits home.  And the astounding part is that we need to be taking far greater care of ourselves and each other if we want a peaceful family life.

That’s the bottom line.

So I ask you: How can you take better care of yourself?

And how can you then take better care of the people who are your responsibility?

Do you need to shower and dress in the morning?  Do you need to stay hydrated?  Do you need a break for a few minutes to unwind your brain once a day?  Do your children need their meals earlier?  Do they need more sleep or an earlier bedtime? Do they need better nutrition than they are currently getting?  Does your spouse need more kindness and understanding than you are currently offering him?

Jot down three answers to each question and then take 60 seconds to envision yourself doing exactly those things. And voila! You’re on your way! {Sounds as though I’ve over-simplified this, but try it!  You just may be inspired and amazed at how quickly your vision will come into being.}

I wish you more peace.




Think Pioneer


I couldn’t help taking a picture of this pioneer spice rack when I was visiting a festival over Memorial Day.  Isn’t it beautiful?

I noticed how earthy and sturdy things looked in the pioneer canopies that were set up to show old world skills.


I saw things made of wood and brass, crockery and copper, wicker, colored glass and cast iron.  There was no plastic in sight!  And no garbage!  Think of it; the pioneers didn’t have garbage!


What do you own that is high quality and made to last?  Those items can serve us for years and keep things simple. I inherited two of my Granny’s metal, wood handled measuring cups. They are so superior to any of the plastic sets I own.

How many dishes and utensils do we actually use?  How many do we actually need?  My goal is to continue to lighten my kitchen load and make things easier to care for by just having less in the drawers and cupboards.

As you are paring down and deciding what it is that you really need, think of the value of having less to care for and more time to live!

I hope the week has gotten off to a good start for you.

Lots of love coming your way!


Lighten Your Load!


This month’s seminar step is lighten your physical load and reap the benefits of lightening your spiritual, mental and emotional load as well!

What areas of your space need to be lightened up?

What triggers you every time you walk in the door?

What spaces are “stuck” and need to be let go so that air and light can move there again?

Inventory it!  Take a pencil and do a walk through of each room in your house.  You don’t need to figure out all of the solutions or know exactly how to tackle what needs to be done, just take the first step of opening your eyes to see how things really are.

Baby steps, baby steps…and you’re on your way to a lighter, brighter future!



Mind Mapping


Plutarch (46-120 A.D.) wrote, “Perseverance is more prevailing than violence; and many things which cannot be overcome when they are together yield themselves up when taken little by little.

So how are you faring with the challenge of shifting your mental conversation to a brighter, more positive one than it has been in the past?

Are you catching negativity before you sense it in your mood or your words or even in your body?

If you are, good for you!  That is progress!


I read an idea recently about choosing one area of your life that you usually think negatively about, and starting with a short amount of time, create a “negative-free zone” around that one topic.  So you might decide that for two minutes every hour or every morning and night or every day, you are going to consciously choose to think positively about that topic for two minutes. If this amount of time seems too difficult, pray for strength and ability!  We have to start somewhere.  And surely, if there is any battle that God would want to help us win, it is this one.  If you have the faith, call on angels to assist you!  Those may be the ones you live beside in your family or those unseen.

When you have crossed that hurdle of two minutes of peace, you can make the time a bit longer or more frequent.  As the days go by, you can eventually create a boundary that you will no longer think negatively about that subject at all.


Feel good?  What a relief that will be right?

After that success, you can branch out into other topics that have been plaguing your mind with down and depressing thoughts, and cut them out little by little until your positive mindset is flowing out to every topic of conversation you are having with yourself!  Wow!

What happens is nothing short of miraculous.

It’s as if a dam inside gradually let’s go, little by little and then breaks.  The places of stuck, sticky, dark and demeaning energy find their way out.  They loosen and let go and you are no longer under their influence. You have chosen, step by step, thought by thought, to banish them from you.  Truly, they were never worthy of you at all!

This process opens up new space!  Space that is free and clear and just the right fertile soil for the light and airy, sweet and satisfying thoughts and their attendant emotions and feelings to come flowing into their place with their healing and sanctifying power.

Chains fall off.  Insecurity slips away.  Confidence and humility begin to reign. {Yes, they are really companions!}


All this comes into being by making just one, small and simple, yet intentional change.  Laying down one small boundary, “I will not allow myself to think negatively for two minutes about ___________.”

The truth is, all real growth happens in minute and subtle ways, and every big change is just choosing small bits of light over darkness for a period of time.  And with God’s help, sometimes that time-frame is far less than we think it will be!

I offer you my love and my heartfelt appreciation for all of the good you desire and all of the miracles you are putting into motion every single day.  You care and you love and you build and you bless and you serve and you sacrifice; and that makes all the difference.