Self-care ideas

Ideas and inspiration about the need to care for ones self

Declare, Declare, Declare



As you are honing your skills of validation, I hope that the voice you are hearing in your head, when you are speaking to yourself and about yourself, is becoming more and more kind, gentle, respectful and FIRM.

That’s where validating starts. Without knowing that your feelings matter and someone cares about you, it’s impossible to validate others.

You are worthy of your own love.  Declare that truth and teach your mind to hold it firmly in place, with relentless practice.

I wish you peace.



“I am kind, gentle and respectful when I speak to or of myself.”

“I firmly direct my mind to accept the truth of myself; that I am loved.”

“I constantly feed my mind with positive, present tense statements.”

“I am the master of my fate.”

“I love my life.”




Slow It Down


Have we discussed this idea before? Ha! I’m sure we have, but it bears repeating!


When you are feeling harried and thinking of too many things at once, shift your attention to your breathing. Consciously breathe in and out, slowly, and observe the change you feel in your body.

When you feel pressed with too many things to do, take a few minutes to make a list and get the “to-do’s” out of your head and into visual reality.

When you think you can’t go any further, know that you most likely can!  It may take a perspective shift, but the energy is available and can be given you when you need it most. Asking for help is one way to keep going!

When you need to rest, and don’t have a window of time for it, take 120 seconds and rest your mind.  Think of as little as possible and repeat your best declarations of truth and strength.

When you feel discouragement or despair or despondency creeping into your mind, demand that your mind shift to counting blessings, making a list of all that you have learned and accomplished and stay watchful of your thoughts until your mind has obeyed.

When your children seem demanding and whiny, stop what you are doing and listen to them with your full attention.  Chances are they are struggling to be heard and have upped the ante to capture your attention.

I pray that you will know that you are never alone.  That those of us who have walked the road of mothering before you have fought the same or similar battles, and have come away enriched and wiser for the experience.

You can do this!



“I am in love, and out of love I will not go.”  C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce







How are your validating skills and efforts panning out thus far?

I hope you are willing to take baby steps and to celebrate each little success you experience- which means you will have to wear your mental “looking for success lens” in order to see them!

And, have you found that there are opportunities for practice everywhere you turn? There is never a shortage if you spend any time with people of any age!

Just a note about the listening part of validation:

What if you are desiring to validate someone and yet there seems to be no end to the drama and desperation they tell you? If it seems that the “figuring it out” never comes and the same discouraged and difficult situation goes on indefinitely?

I would suggest that you can draw a boundary around your listening; you can ask the validating questions and use the validating phrases, while also limiting the time you spend hearing the sometimes unending variations of the same trouble.

At some point, you become an enabling accomplice when you listen and listen and listen to a situation where progress and discovery is not the goal. Besides that, when we are in a place of exasperation and exhaustion, we aren’t helpful! At such times, we can frame the time we give with appropriate boundaries. We can encourage.  We can continue to be kind, gentle, respectful and firm, to the other person, and to ourselves.

There are times when a listening ear is not all that is needed. Heaven help us to be able to know when it is time to gently move forward. Maybe professional help is needed. Maybe it would be more productive to make that suggestion.

Then again, sometimes inviting someone to do something else, other than talking, can be such a gift!

How about a bike ride or a walk on a beautiful day? Or catching a good movie or going to hear an orchestra or see a play?

I thank heaven for all of the wonderful friends I have had through my life who have given me their time, their listening ears, their understanding and encouragement.  We are all indebted to true friends who offer us the validation we need while we figure out our own struggles, and the times we share having fun and helping us each discover our best selves.

Have a great evening!





Healthy Habits


Recently, I was asked what healthy habits I consider to be most important in maintaining a healthy lifestyle.


It’s a great question and  has given me a lot of food for thought!

First, I would have to say the tools that help me to keep my mindbody in a positive and growing space. These are prayer, journal writing, scriptures, declarations, uplifting music and literature and a vision board. It sounds like a lot but in actuality, they all work together and can be done almost anywhere, anytime.

Keeping a connection to God is fundamentally important and is the basis of all personal validation and therefore, accomplishment. Keeping a record of my thoughts and the answers I receive and the things I learn deepens my knowledge and teaches me any time I want to revisit them.  Declarations are a constant.  They help me to train my mind and my body to function the way I choose, while keeping me out of the holes of pity, despair and discouragement. Music and literature are brain food, color and life! And the vision board is awesome of course, because it keeps me visually on track and working out plans both consciously and subconsciously.

Second, I would add the joy of moving; swimming, walking, riding my bike and gardening, in concert with eating real food. It’s quite a process to pull away from the “norm,” little by little, until you aren’t on the blood sugar, weight, exhaustion, headache, additive fallout roller coaster anymore. The difficult symptoms that come from the things we eat and drink, even when we don’t know what is causing them, subside and it is a delight to be on level ground. I try to keep it simple, in a nutshell following Michael Pollan’s wisdom: “Eat food, mostly plants, not too much,” which I think is an awesome guide to keeping your diet real, (not consuming food science concoctions that can sit on a shelf for years without deteriorating), relying mostly on fruits, vegetables, grains, beans and legumes, and then not over doing it quantity-wise.

Therapy-wise, I would say the big helps for me are craniosacral and emotional release work, massage and on occasion, talk therapy. Thank heaven for the people who have worked to become trained to help us in these important areas as we need it!

I hope something here might be helpful to consider.  I’d love to hear about your favorite healthy habits!

Take care!




Sweet Smoothie Idea


I’ve been experimenting with something I have a lot of right now; zucchini! So, here’s the scoop:

If you pick zucchini while it is relatively young, like these pictured were about 10 inches long and a couple of inches in diameter, you can slice them and flash freeze them on a cookie sheet and they work very well in smoothies.

By “very well” I mean, you get veggies but you can’t taste them. Know what I mean?

Flash freezing them first, like these pictured on a cookie sheet, means that you’ll be able to pull them out of a bag one at a time because they were frozen singly, and not smashed together. Freezing them helps you to store them for awhile of course, but also helps the texture and temperature of your smoothie! (Frozen zucchini also works well for making zucchini bread!)

I also freeze bananas that are a little old, by just breaking them into a bag and putting them in the freezer.  No need to flash freeze them because they are easy to break apart when they are frozen.

I also freeze lemon juice (in ice cube trays, then transfer to a freezer bag), lemon zest, ginger, kale, spinach, peaches, berries, cherries, apricots, goat’s milk, and anything else I can get my hands on.

Lioness Zucchini Smoothie

1 cup milk (your choice)

1 cup water

3-4 frozen zucchini slices

1 frozen banana

1-2 Tbs Adam’s peanut butter

1 Tbs cocoa

2 Tbs flax seed

1 handful blueberries (or other berries)

1/4 tsp cayenne (optional)


I wish you good health and happiness!