Self-care ideas

Ideas and inspiration about the need to care for ones self

Deciding Feels Fabulous Darling!

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What is it about indecision that makes it so easy for us girls to get stuck in it so often?  (Well, maybe women don’t have a corner on it, but it seems to me that we just might.)

When you’re in the middle of that grungy, indecisive feedback loop, your chest feels like it is full of festering, swirling, no-place-to-go energy that is waiting for release!  I write of this with authority. I’ve been there far more than is good for a body.

But, that’s experience for you.  Once you register what it feels like to be in a state that is less than desirable, you can learn how to get out of it!  And while I can attest that the feeling of indecision is awful, I can also state that deciding feels great!

I am amazed at how much creativity follows a firm decision!  It’s like a vortex of ideas and stamina and strength come rushing in on the heels of, “I have decided.”

I’ve had a cluttered little corner in my kitchen this week and as I think of it, I know that it is just a physical indication of indecision, and the signs of a time of transition. So, shall I be bent out of shape over recognizing that little stagnant pool?  Heaven’s no, lest I create more of the slowed-down energy I don’t want!

My first decision is to walk into the kitchen, no, really my first decision was to pray for a calm mind. Then, second to walk to the kitchen and third to take up that little pile and effortlessly and clearly decide where those items need to go, get them there in as little time as possible, and offer a prayer of thanks for the ability to move ahead.

Sometimes I think indecision is just stalling for time.  It’s being afraid of the forward motion for some reason.  It’s holding back time and not having to face future events.  It may be not wanting to own our own power, or to be accountable for our spaces and decisions.

Whatever it is, it ain’t pretty!

What small step could you take today to move yourself forward with decisive action?

I’m cheering for your success and happiness!

Love,

Jacque

Courage

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I am amazed at the courage that is lived-out in front of me every day.

For some, it is facing a new day of pain, taking it head on, taking the first step, and putting one foot in front of the other until another day is well-used.

For others, it’s building another relationship after a painful ending. Or asking for help after a humbling mistake.

Could be deciding to quiet the discouraging voice that has been dragging you down.

What about the internal forward motion it takes to take risks that others find easy?

To rise in the night for years in a row to comfort a child.

To face a new pregnancy after struggling through the last one.

To answer the fiftieth question if a small person, with patience and kindness.

To say “I am sorry” or “please forgive me” when personal pride is at stake.

I see you showing a great deal of courage in your every day challenges. I am humbled and inspired and encouraged to have more grit and fortitude myself.

You are a tremendous force for good!

Thank you.

Love,

Jacque

Smooth Self-Care

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Here is a simple, self-care idea for you today!

If you don’t already use a cream for shaving, consider trying this one.

I am impressed with the hydrating creaminess and the light vanilla scent.

As part of an effort to do a small, nice thing for myself, I bought this cream and a new razor. Funny how simple things can make you feel pampered.

What are some small changes you can make to care for yourself?

Please share your ideas in the comments!

It’s time to take better care of yourself so that you can happily care for others.

Best wishes today and always,

Jacque

Happy Mother’s Day: Repost!

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{Here is a repost of something I published a few years ago.  I hope it is a bit of inspiration for you today. xo}

A few years ago I was standing in the middle of a picturesque little-town cemetery, talking to my deceased grandmother, and to my mother who was out of the country. I imagined we were all standing there together looking back over our lifetimes and the lives of those before us and then to the generations that will follow.

My heart went out to Goldie, my Granny’s mother who was killed by a drunk driver while sitting on her front porch while her daughters looked on.

I wondered at the life experiences that one tragic moment put into motion for my Granny and her sisters, the events that led them to form their fears and hopes about their own place in a future family. And how it may have launched the abandonment mentality of several generations…And like so many of our diverse life situations, Goldie’s life was taken and her children may not have known, in their need, that she didn’t plan to leave them.

I saw the ways that I had been afraid to feel or to take the risk of demonstrating dependence on loved ones after experiencing loss.  I saw my mother’s tears of disappointment and the years of her struggles to feel loved. And I saw her eyes and the eyes and faces of those dear ones, who through their struggles, gave far more of themselves because of their love for their children, than they thought possible.

Then I saw timelessness.  Mothers, taking turns in the stages of life and now Goldie and Granny are elsewhere.  But there we were together and I felt as if I could see the plain of our existence lying even, the years as if they were a moment.  I could see that each of us had a set of challenges completely unique to us as individuals and that they were an integral part of our mothering.  We had each given everything we could within our limitations and,

It was and is enough.

We were and are loved.  We have been wounded, we have fought on.  We have dealt with the uncertainties of life and made our best attempt at loving,

And it is enough.

Standing there I could see the deficits being be filled-in.  The wounds healing.  The limits being expanded.  And all things working together for our good. And now or in a future day, our love being perfectly expressed.

With this memory of my mothers revived in my heart, I’m focusing on the “brain boundaries” that I have set for myself.  Like zero tolerance for listening to a cutting, negative ruminating voice.  No more inviting in of the wicked little thoughts that may seem true, but are skewed deceptions aimed at destroying my peace. About every mistake I made as a parent.  About the pains, the problems, the perceived failures large or small. On Mother’s Day or any day.

And then the zero tolerance for the comparing voice.  (Yes, that is the devil himself.)  Comparing is judging wickedly.  There is no other adjective that will cover it.

It’s time to prepare to have a happy weekend and I propose that we can do it in two simply stated (and with practice simple-to-do) steps:

  1. choose, then commit, to attend to the tender voice of encouragement and no other!
  2. intentionally fill ourselves up with the sweet-smelling blossoms of self-love, self-acceptance and validation instead of waiting for someone else to deliver the bouquet.

It’s interesting, because as I look at those two steps, I see that the first makes the second possible!  When we’re marinating in negativity, there’s no chance for any sweet-smelling, beautiful thought or feeling to get through!  This is the greatest part of being an agent.  We choose what we allow into our minds.  If we’re sloppy, negligent or permissive with our own mental boundaries, we can immediately feel the pain of self-allowed victim hood.  Ouch!  Step one clears the stage and step two brings in the beauty!  “I am loved.”  “I love my family!”  “My continued efforts are enough.”  “I am important and my feelings matter.”  “I am strong.”  “I can learn.”  “I love my life!”

Here we are in our time, in our turn.  We are going to struggle.  We are going to mess up because we’re human.  But we can choose to live “in love” and not to go out of love because we allow ourselves to be deceived and manipulated into self-criticism, perfectionism or apathy. As mothers we choose to love, and it’s our listening ear, our validating responses, our boundaries, our example of kindness and strength…not our perfection…that will transcend our time here and leave a legacy.

Here’s my recipe for today:

The way to have a Mother’s Day or any day that feels like a grand celebration is to become a Lioness at the door of your mind.

Eyes open, heart open and a kind, gentle, respectful and firm Lioness at the Door of your mind.

Happy Mother’s Day to my Moms, and to all you fellow moms!

I’m sending you lots of love!

Jacque

P.S. If you haven’t read I Don’t Have To Make Everything All Better by Gary B. and Joy Saunders Lundberg, now would be a great time!

Just Breathe

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I got to walk around an outside nursery today.  I could feel the sun on my legs, smell the wood bark and flowering plants, and the colors of all the living things filled my senses.  I love summer!

And I am reminded again of the very simple pleasures in life being so satisfying and real. 

What keeps us from enjoying those simple things? Those things that don’t cost anything and are available to everyone?

For me, it is the hustle and hurry.  The thinking and introspection that goes on too long. It’s trying to work out a problem when it’s time to put it away for awhile and get my second wind by just breathing. Just breathing is such good therapy isn’t it?

I hope you are ready to create a summer of simplicity. It won’t happen without determining to loosen up and enjoy every small moment as it comes!

Love always,

Jacque

“I live in this present moment.  I love my life.  I love the seasons and the beauty of the earth.  I am so blessed!”