Self-care ideas

Ideas and inspiration about the need to care for ones self

Flesh and Blood and Beauty

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Ever notice the simple truth that men and women are very, very different?

Isn’t it funny that that’s a no-brainer question and you might think I’m being funny, but in society’s quest for reaching some kind of realm where we are all the same, sometimes this blatant fact gets over looked or kicked under the proverbial rug.

We are different. We are vastly different and we need to be in order to make the whole that our two halves make.

So to point out a few things about women that we get stuck on if we are trying to be like men:

We are softer. We have different hormones that make us that way. Yes, there are the few sculpted, young, tanned and toned female bodies that are posted everywhere we look so that we can compare ourselves and come up short, and somehow think that we are flawed and need to hide. But those bodies don’t look like anyone I know. And I have beautiful friends! They just don’t look like they’ve been through body-building boot camp. They look like women who are healthy and active but not with buns or anything of steel. {Can I say that?}

We are more susceptible to the effects of stress. Nope, we aren’t robots, nor are we like the “women” in movies who carry machine guns while wearing seductive red leather…whatevers. You know who I mean? The newish heroines who are as tough and crass as the men but still have to be sexually alluring? {What is that about?} We don’t zoom here and there and hire and fire people with no emotion and order the world around or go through separation and loneliness without visible, sometimes crushing effects. Our hormonal balance tips when we get over-done. It lets our bodies know that it’s not a good time to conceive, since there’s already so much commotion going on we might not be able to carry and nurture another life.

We need the care and nurture of other women. Our mothers and sisters and daughters and friends are very important to our health! We need connections and talking and support and friendship in order to be well. We also need breaks! We multi-task like nobody’s business and then need to disengage from the intensity and have a good laugh or sometimes a good cry and oftentimes both!

So my friends, particularly my young friends, if you are feeling that you need to be going at break-neck speed to have the body of Hollywood’s dreams, or fame or recognition or all of the accomplishments that you want, right now, please know that your speed will eventually be more hurtful than helpful. Cortisol {that notorious stress hormone} thrives on you thinking that you need have it and be it all now! It will keep you from losing that weight. It will keep your hormones in disarray. It will age you and depress you and leave your husband wondering what has happened to the wonderful girl he married.

Our nurturing nature requires us to be present in order to be effective. That means that when we are relaxed and enjoying ourselves we are far more nurturing than when we are uptight and thinking about something else! {Sigh. I so wish I could snap myself back in time to try again knowing that is the goal instead of trying to find validation in doing too much!} I hope you can benefit from knowing that you were designed to foster connections and that you will be far more effective when you do what it takes to pamper yourself and calm yourself and create in yourself a warm and sunny place that will renew you and keep you fresh as much as possible.

Be well. It’s pretty important to those you love.

Love,

Jacque

 

 

 

 

Thought Training

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Hello! I hope you’ve had a good day thus far.

I’d like to ask you, as of right now, how many declarations do you have in your view around your house? And how are they posted? Did you use a dry erase marker on your mirror? Or sticky notes stuck on light switches or doors? How about a page of them hanging next to your bed? Or are they written across the pages of your planner?

Wherever they are and however they are written, I hope they exist! There is just too much negativity coming at you every day to not have some counterbalance! So, if at this point you don’t have anything posted that is going to feed your positive mindset, please, I challenge you, get some written and posted today.

Don’t know where to begin in crafting a few supportive declarations? All you have to do is think about what is challenging you most right now! Is it a health challenge or physical pain? Is it a relationship or a schedule or a particular job you dislike? Whatever you are thinking about negatively is exactly what you want to turn around in your thinking.

If I am feeling challenged when trying to learn something new, I might say, “I am open to learning every day!” or “I am a great student and I learn quickly and well!”

What if I am struggling with a person or a relationship? I might craft a declaration like, “I love _____ and they love me.” or “I am a thoughtful friend, (or wife or mother or sister…)”

Learning to shift our mental conversation from gloom and despair to a positive, proactive one, we can make amazing strides in overcoming the difficulties that are uniquely ours.

Sending you much love and kudos for all the ways that you are being kind to yourself and others. You are a blessing!

Jacque

P.S. If you ever feel that you need professional help to get through an issue that is dogging you, please don’t hesitate to ask for it! It is our job to ask for help when we need it and it doesn’t mean that we have failed. It means that sometimes things are so close to us that we can’t see them how they are and we need perspective. I am so grateful for the inspired counselors that have helped me along my way!

It Works!

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Ladies! I just have to share an epiphany I had last night! Well, I had it again, probably for the 50th time over the last 25 years…

But first a little background:

For the past two+ months I’ve been functioning with a broken foot. Cooking was non-existent for the first six weeks of that time, but now that I’ve graduated to a walking boot and can put weight on both of my legs, I can get around in the kitchen for short bursts of productivity.

What happened in between being down and now functioning enough to tackle the kitchen again is that I’ve had to make the leap again from not thinking much about food to where do I begin?

What to cook? How about the grocery list? {I kind of felt tired getting my brain back into the game.} This is how it went:

Last evening, I waddled into the kitchen on my wobbly boot, opened the cupboard door, pulled out my binder with about 20 weeks of meal plans (created over as many years), read aloud several of the week’s menus to my son and my husband, they voted on the one that sounded best to them, I pulled the index card from the plastic sleeve that has the grocery list on it, and BAM! I am ready to shop and cook!!!

It still amazes me.

Planning works.

It supports you over and over and over again.

It makes life simpler, happier and far less stressful.

So, if you are 1) living in dinner decision chaos, know that there is no need to live under that kind of pressure! Or 2) if you are making meal plans but not keeping them, repent! Plunk them down into a binder and stop spending time reinventing the wheel!

I hope that you will decide today to lighten your load by making a plan to feed your family simply and well.

Much love!

Jacque

P.S. If you feel overwhelmed by working out a plan, consider a health coaching program with Lioness! Meal planning is one of the major life skills that you will learn here along with being empowered in many other areas of family health and wellness too! Give me a shout if you would like to chat and see if we would be a compatible coach/client team!

How You Love

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What are some of the ways that you show your love to the people at your house?

Could it be mainly by doing the things that you are sometimes tempted to see as unimportant or mundane? Come to think of it, I really dislike the word mundane. To me, it is a grand misrepresentation of all that is truly important at home!

Negatively calling tasks mundane can imply that anyone can do them, that they are what is left over after the significant work is done and that the person who assumes them must have nothing better to do or at least has no ambition to do anything else!

I submit that all of these ideas are false.

On a given day, you  may be tempted to feel that stopping the busy-ness of the day to rock a sick child has taken you off the fast-track and plopped you on the mundane path, but I’d say not so. When you were sick as a child, who comforted you best? Was there anything you wanted or needed more that your mother’s cool hand on your forehead or the quiet time rocking until you fell asleep or felt a bit better?

Did you ever have the good fortune to walk into your childhood home or your grandparents home and smell a delicious dinner cooking or a pie baking in the oven? Someone was there cooking out of love for you!

How wonderful it can be to crawl into clean, sweet-smelling bed covers pulled back by a parent. To be tucked in with a kiss and a goodnight. Those fresh bed clothes were put there by someone’s unselfish efforts! And was there again at the end of the day when surely there are always other opportunities that could have been taken.

Nope, mundane doesn’t fit at all.

The tiny, almost invisible things that are done in a loving home each day are the exact hows of love.

Please don’t lose sight of the grand significance of the work that you are doing for heaven’s sake. For heaven’s sake, because, wouldn’t God Himself kiss those small hands and bandage that little knee and feed all those who are hungry? And wouldn’t He show patience for the crying child who doesn’t yet understand consequences, much the same way He shows us patience in our tears and our lack of understanding?

In fact, those are exactly the things that Jesus modeled for us.

And here we are, working out our salvation before Him, by following His example, using His servant-leadership model.

Every diaper you change, every nose you wipe, every hug you give, every meal you prepare and each bit of listening and encouragement you give, you give for Him.

And in return, you will receive His promised healing.

May you be made well and whole!

Love,

Jacque

P.S. How wonderful it is to know, that even in our best efforts, we won’t be able to be everything to everyone! Purposely human and fallible we are! No, thankfully we were made to be resilient, to teach and to be taught, and we have the gifts of apology, of forgiveness and ultimately, every opportunity we will take to start again. And again.

P.P.S. You’re amazing and you are making such a difference in the world! Keep on going!