This month in seminar we’re working on time-blocking, or time-management. And sometimes it ain’t pretty!

Just because it can be really difficult to shift our thinking! It may mean going from a completely open, “no have-to’s” schedule, to, “here are some decisions I’ve already made so that I don’t have to think about them any more” kind of schedule. And that shift can feel like putting your head in a box at first!

So what’s the point? Why bother thinking about all of the things that need to be done in order to keep a household running and people where they need to be? Why decide when you’ll exercise and when you’ll wash your face and what you need at the store before you go?

The why is extremely important isn’t it? It’s the push behind building any new habit so here it is as I see it:

All of these things are important because they give you the opportunity to behave like an agent, to act upon your life, instead of the opposite which is to be acted upon as a victim; because you can take the empty spaces that have been directionless and maybe wasted, and build a structure for yourself that moves you and stretches you and helps you to continue to grow up! {We all have room for that don’t we? I surely do!}

Very importantly, making at least a loose schedule gives you a greater opportunity to take care of yourself, whether it’s exercising or taking a class or reading a book. When left to chance, we women rarely feel that we are caught up and now it’s time to do something we want and need to do for our own health and well-being. But if we set ourselves up for achieving that self-care balance by hiring a sitter or making a trade for help or doing something as simple as planning a very simple dinner one night so that we have some extra time, that can make a big difference!

Maybe I should restate what time-blocking isn’t:

-It isn’t scheduling out your day in 10 or 30 or even 60 minute increments! Family life is full and unpredictable in many ways and we must be flexible! So time-blocking at Lioness is very “chunky” and adaptable. A few daily tasks to be done by you or someone else, sometime throughout the day is plenty. There are “every day” chores, such as dishes after a meal, tidying up a bedroom by making the bed and generally picking up, cooking, etc. But the jobs that don’t need to be done daily can be nicely rotated and give you a feeling of overall cleanliness and order that brings calm to your world. {Remember that being in a constant state of stress is very, very hard on a body! Many of the ailments we women battle can be traced back to “running” too hard for too long. The kind of stress that feels like you’ll never have time to put your feet up and take a break again, can wreak havoc on your endocrine system, causing hormone imbalance, headaches, weight gain, not to mention mood swings–and on and on. It is extremely important to breathe and learn to live in real time, not in emergency mode.}

-It isn’t being told what you need to do by any other person, just you! What is important to you and what is important to someone else are different matters. Let alone the fact that no one’s style of doing things is exactly like anyone else’s. Your rhythm, your flare, your personality must direct your planning! You don’t need to fit into a pre-made box.

-It isn’t intended to help you have your home in perfect order 24 hours a day. In fact it isn’t about perfect anything. It’s about doing, decisively, what needs to be done in the world you are creating every day for your family. It’s about having clean clothes when you need them and healthy, comfortable, safe spaces for children to grow.

-It isn’t about being busy or running a race or being in competition with anyone, anytime. It is about finding ‘places’ to stop; when today’s jobs are done, you “feel free to move about!”

-It isn’t about shaming yourself for any task left undone. Simply know that your self-built structure is there to support you, not you to support it! If the bathrooms get cleaned weekly, they are a breeze to clean (most of the time!) But if they are neglected for a month, you may need to spend a lot of unpleasant time doing a big, big job. So, say you shoot for every week, but you get asked to watch your grand baby on a bathroom job day. You have choices: you can get it cleaned before the baby sitting, or, it can get moved to the next day, or, it can be done by someone else or, maybe it’s in pretty good shape so you decide to wipe down the mirrors and make a note to hit it hard on the next bathroom cleaning day. It’s up to you and what you feel will help you stay on top! {And get to spend time with the people you love!}

It is about having the peace that comes when you commit to doing what is needed, when it is needed, and growing in the confidence of self-awareness and self-direction and self-mastery. And we’re all moving along that path, at our very own pace.

Wherever you are on your journey, I hope you are being kind to yourself while you are also stretching and learning!

Much love,

Jacque

P.S. More on trouble shooting your schedule and keeping track of the never ending paper trail….coming up!

 

 

 

 

 

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