As women, we learn from watching other women.  It’s a natural phenomenon.  And wonderful, because we can imitate what we see without a lot of effort.

But there are some things that we need to make sure we don’t imitate!  Those are the self-defeating, go-nowhere, negative beliefs that unfortunately don’t get caught and corrected in some generations.

One of those erroneous beliefs or thinking errors that commonly gets passed down is that of unnecessary self-deprivation.

I’m not talking about the mother-moments when genuine sacrifice is noble and saintly.

No, I’m talking about the deceptive belief that if we deprive ourselves, if we complain and make a spectacle out of not getting what we deserve, if we refuse to care for ourselves, that it will lead to getting us what we want.

That’s not saintly, it’s stubborn. It’s manipulative and damning.  (I know, I know, but truly used, it’s the best word to really illustrate how we can stop our own progress!) And we must beware if our behavior smacks of this weighty disillusion.

Life is challenging and we don’t need to add to the difficulty level by functioning on the “being-a-woman-is-rotten” and “I’m-not-worth-it” and “if-he-really-cared-he’d-notice” mentality.

Caring for ourselves is an agent sort of thing to do.  Being loved and feeling loved is the right “heart space” to be in in order to then generously give of ourselves.  And this begins with God and self.  God’s love is never-ending, and enough for everyone who has ever or will ever live and it multiplies exponentially!  Self-love (not conceit or selfishness) also multiplies and grows and blesses everyone who comes in contact with it.  There is then no need for depriving ourselves of either!  There is enough to go around!

It is our job to notice when we are tired, and take a rest.  It is our job to cultivate kindness toward ourselves and to show others how to treat us by how we speak of and treat ourselves.

Our daughters (and sons!) can gain confidence and strength, and learn how we feel about our feminine roles, by watching us care for ourselves.

I challenge you to be in a whirl of self-care, beauty, contentment and grace.  Being there will draw loved ones to you and make your life abundantly sweet.

Good Sabbath!

Love,

Jacque

“Life’s great happiness is to be convinced we are loved.” – Victor Hugo, Les Miserables