To schedule or not to schedule; is that the question?

I have heard several of my clients express anxiety over the changing of the seasons and the inevitable change that brings to their sense of control and mental stability!

When summer came each year when my kids were growing up, not only did they come home, but my husband also spent his summers at home so the annual change at our house was grand!  I found, after a few years of observation, that it took me about two weeks to make the shift in my own mind from having the house to myself, to having it bustling and swinging non-stop.

So I learned to give myself that much time to acclimate, and not to expect a shift any sooner than that.  It was a big change, and even though I really looked forward to all of us being together, and I felt very blessed to have the circumstances that allowed for such quality and quantity, it still felt a bit overwhelming as it approached.

Would I still take the time to care for myself?  Would I have my ducks lined-up well enough to structure the days; the chore charts, the vacation times and find the right balance of being productive while still taking time to look at the clouds and read picture books and make play-dough?  All without losing my sanity?

Can you relate to any of my worries?

With the benefit of hindsight, I offer a few lessons I have learned, many, the proverbial “hard way!”

1 Start with a meeting of the minds.  The question isn’t whether or not to create a schedule for the family!  If you’re considering no structure as an option, I’d strongly suggest you reconsider.  It’s amazing the things we can accomplish together when we’re on the same page.  And getting on the same page requires a conversation about goals, a few decisions and then a way to refer back to those decisions.  When I say goals, I mean what you want to take away from the time you have.  It doesn’t have to mean you’re going to be productive every moment of the day.  You can have the intention of slowing down and spending more time in creative pursuits.  Or catching up on projects or learning a new skill.  Just get together in the beginning and have fun brainstorming.

2 Schedule maintenance.  No matter what you want the summer months to “produce,” planning to take care of yourselves and your home each day will help things to run more smoothly and afford a peaceful setting for you all to “be.”  It’s a challenge to enjoy each other’s company or to have the motivation to launch into projects if there are piles of dirty dishes or laundry that have been building up!  Each family member can work on home maintenance each day and that will keep things moving and leave no one person to do it all by themselves.  Decide on who will do what and when.  We had three groups of jobs that the kids would rotate; garbage and laundry, dishwasher and bathrooms, dusting and floors.  After taking weekly turns with these for awhile, we discovered that they each preferred one set (strangely no one wanted the same one!) and so we stopped rotating and they just kept the same two jobs.  Then we made job pages that we laminated so that they could be checked-off by a parent with a dry erase marker.  Their charts included making their own beds, straightening rooms, brushing teeth, showering, taking turns walking, brushing and feeding the dog, doing their home maintenance jobs, practicing their instrument and reading.  It sounds like a lot, but when they wanted to leave with friends or be free to play in general, they were motivated and clipped through their charts pretty fast.  It’s just wonderful to know what is expected and what needs to be done.  Learn from my mistakes too: when they are finished, let them be finished.  Don’t continue to add just one more thing every time they want to leave.  Set your boundaries and then let yourself be held by them too.

3 Enjoy each other!  This time of bubbles and picture books, pets and play dates, roller blades and running full speed won’t last.  It seems like yesterday that my kids were home making piles of stuffed animals on the couch or curled up with the latest Harry Potter book or chasing each other through the house.  And now they are far away from home in homes of their own with children of their own.  Breathe and gear up for the memories you’ll be making.  They are priceless.

Take good care!

Love,

Jacque