I was watching a documentary on owls…yeah, I was a captive audience, not generally my speed.  But I observed something that I think is worth noting as it applies to us as parents:

For some reason, (that I didn’t catch) two baby owls were being raised by two people.  Two very dedicated and capable people.  And with all of their skills and knowledge and passion, the most impressive ability they possessed, in my humble opinion, was their ability to be fully present with their fluffy little wards.

It was stunningly beautiful to watch.

Every time the birds did the tiniest thing that showed they were making some kind of progress, or that they were even just simply enjoying themselves, the two care-givers responded with great delight!  And I noticed that the only way it was possible for them to be so fully engaged and observant, was the fact that they were fully present.

It occurred to me that those little partly feathered, kind of uglyish stage birds, were receiving quite a bit MORE undivided attention than possibly the majority of children in our country are given.

And why?  If I think of myself as the parent of young children, I’d have to say that sheer busyness or even mental working (as in the time I spent trying to figure out a challenge), but you know that was a long old time ago!  What in the world would have happened if I could have had the ability to search the Internet?  Not to mention having social media at my finger tips???

Now a balancing thought: Am I suggesting that parents need to be totally present with their children every minute of every day?  No way!  That would also be a recipe for disaster.  So, please don’t let your mental pendulum swing to that extreme.  I’m simply talking about moving the pendulum closer to the middle, as I have observed, in myself and others, that has swung to an unhealthy extreme.

You lovely young mothers have a massive, literally mind blowing potential challenge to your ability to be present at home.  It is hard to even quantify it in my mind.

Hence, it seems to me that this is one of the facets of your life that is screaming for you to be fiercely decisive.  If you will be in charge of what you allow to grasp your attention, you will change generations. Generations.

If anyone can do it, you can.  I have no doubt.

I’d love to hear your plans.  Go ahead and keep being your inspiring self.

All my respect and love,

Jacque

P. S. The parting narration in the owl documentary was the guardians, smiling and saying how happy, confident and smart their owls turned out to be.

P.P.S. There’s a really big potential problem that may be shooting your deliberate attention-giving in the foot.

If so, do you know what that is for you?  May I share that if you are feeling invalidated yourself, that it’s pretty difficult to give it to others.  If you can recognize this issue in yourself, you are in a powerful place, good for you! You can now, alone or with some assistance, make a plan to shift your situation.  Yes, you can shift it.  And yes, sincere, profound prayer and general self-care is a large part of that shift, but in intense cases, please consider asking for professional help.

How do you know if yours might be an intense case? Pay attention to “where you are” during a notmal day.  Make notes.  Also makes notes about how you feel as well.

This issue does not mean that you are a bad mother.  Listen to that again; having this challenge does not mean that you are a subpar parent.  But as a Lioness, it does mean that you have some work to do.  And I’m here to say, YOU CAN.  This is your life, there is only one you and you were born to succeed.

xo