If you have little people, I think you’ll understand what I mean when I say that you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink! {When it’s nap time, you can lead a little one to their bed but you cannot make her sleep can you?}
In thinking about this today, a funny picture jumped into my mind of someone trying to push a freshly cooked noodle! It really illustrates the level of frustration one may feel when going behind someone and trying to get them to do what you want them to do. There’s no body to it, nothing to push, particularly if this person is a toddler!
How then do you go from “pushing a noodle” to walking ahead while dangling the proverbial carrot in their sight? How do you lead out and encourage others to follow?
Here are a few ideas I hope you’ll find helpful. I believe they could be employed by anyone trying to lead anyone!
1. Create a clear goal. Not for you, but for them! Yes, you want to get everyone down for a nap so that you can think for a minute or rest or get lunch dishes done. But what do they get out of it? Yes, they’ll get rested and feel better for the duration of the day if they take a nap, but they don’t know that nor are they able to care about that. They don’t have the ability or executive functioning to understand that yet!
So if this time of day is a struggle for you, what could you create to be their goal and then reach it?
First, you must clearly teach what behaviors you need them to do in order, such as; a) lie down with a quiet toy; b) maybe visit for a few minutes with you in a quiet voice; c) then close their eyes and lay fairly still until they drift off to sleep.
Next, what could help them catch your vision and be motivated to accomplish the task? A sticker on a chart? A fun activity with you? A time to play with a special toy? A simple treat? Do your best to give them a reason to comply with your request. Sinply doing something because you say to do it is lovely, but training along the way will give them a feeling of control over their actions and eventually success and an earned reward.
2. Share your goals with them! Not just the I-need-a-nap-so-badly goal, but also your bigger thoughts and aspirations! They will see you as a leader who is worthy of emulation and as someone who is interested in life and engaged in learning and continuing to evolve. If the people you are leaving happen to be your children, I believe they will automatically see themselves as learning and evolving just because you are.
3. Engage family members in your goals. Can little Sis sit on your feet while you do sit-ups? Can big brother grab the water bottles to load in the car when you’re all heading out for a run? What do you want to accomplish this week? This month? This year? It doesn’t matter if your goals stay constant or if they morph into new goals, just be as forward thinking as you can and share the journey with your loved ones. You may be surprised at how much they want to pitch in to help you succeed. Of course you can also up your game on being thoughtful about how to show your interest in their individual interests and goals and do what you can to support them!
Children want to please you. They want to see you smile at them. They want to be your delight and feel that they are important to you! And you know, I think I could say the same thing for your spouse! How wonderful it is to sit in the smile of your mate.
Helping others to achieve simple goals will get you through your days more peacefully and cooperatively and can help everyone at your house to feel that they are living in a learning and happy place.
Love you! You’ve got this!
Jacque
Really good ideas. Darling picture.
Gracias Mamacita! It is darling isn’t it?? xo