All her life, she wanted a garden.

One that would grow a beautiful variety of flowers that could adorn her home and at times be cut and arranged in vases for the kitchen table or for friends on their special days.

She imagined the way the garden would smell. The lavender as she trimmed it, the chamomile in white clumps with it’s herby fragrance, the golden yarrow, orange red poppies, blue and purple columbine, maroon hollyhocks, beautiful white and pink, plump peonies and the roses! How she longed to smell the roses!

She dreamed of putting a small, delicate table and chairs in the middle of all the beauty and spending time with a friend at times, sipping cold peppermint tea and breathing deeply while relaxing and visiting.

Amazingly, after many years and a lot of work, the cutting flower bed became a reality! She worked alongside her husband to amend the soil and install a watering system. Flowers were purchased, or better, some were inherited from friend’s gardens. All seemed right!

The flowers began to grow and so did she, there was so much to learn!

She learned that some flowers couldn’t handle the heat of the west sun. That bind weed starts in China and laughs from it’s deep roots when it’s small ends are pulled. That sprinkling systems malfunction. That roses die when they get too much water. That weeds grow at a furious rate when she was distracted with other projects and that it always took a great deal of effort to get them knocked down again.

She learned that “tending” didn’t come naturally to her. She often lost patience wanting big results with little effort! So when her garden was screaming for attention, she would grudgingly launch into cleaning out the weeds, as quickly as possible, so she could move onto other things.

The growing seasons came and went and years went by.

One spring, as the snows and rains at last were done, she noticed that already weeds were overtaking her garden. She wondered if this plot of earth was worth the frustration and time and disappointment she felt as she surveyed the problems.

But, determined to try again, she worked up new courage and started pulling weeds. As she worked she wondered if she was really cut out for gardening. She noticed that her neighbor planned her flower beds so well, and put down weed deterrent fabric! What was she thinking? Why hadn’t she done that?

Why hadn’t she planned better and gone slower and more deliberately? Why hadn’t she learned more about growing roses before she spent money, time and years of effort only to have one struggling bush left?

As she weeded and thought these aggravating thoughts, she happened to look up.

And there it was.

There, all the time she was weeding and feeling failed were plants who had been growing their best! They hadn’t been cared for perfectly, but there they were! Peonies, up out of the ground tall and full and putting on buds!

There were the poppies, spread over their borders and happily moving toward the first blossoming of the season!

There were white and pink strawberry blossoms opening, lavender, new and fresh! Hollyhocks, vigorous and tall; grape hyacinth with their purple beads; columbine fragile and strong all at once, and one rose that managed to fight through conditions not quite right, but grew stronger in the adversity of it all!

She was shocked that it took so long to see the beauty that had been there all along!

And in that moment, a new thought came. What if she determined to spend time caring for her garden, without feeling compelled by its problems, but just out of a love of being in it?

What if, instead of plowing through the work there, what if she spent the same time calmly loving on the plants and talking to them, anticipating their beauty?

And as she thought and stood still with her hand on her shovel, a new relationship began. A relationship, not of duty and need and desperation and frustration, but a relationship of care and time and choice and growth.

Her garden seemed to sigh as she saw it with new eyes. It was ready it seemed, to offer her respite from the pressing cares of her days, to be ready to give it’s sights and scents to restore her mind and soothe her spirit. What she understood at last was that this was a relationship, not simply a stewardship or duty that took so much from her, but love that went two ways!

She could feel that as she slowed down in her efforts to make an environment where her plants could thrive, that they would, and in return, she would have the joy of seeing them reach their highest potential of giving her and all who would see them, their unique and beautiful gifts!

Sister, I hope you will feel the truth the Spirit whispers to your heart today: Relax, your love, (not your perfection or or duty-bound efforts,) cultivated over time, is what you and your growing children need.

Let’s grow together.

Love always,