Do you ever wonder what real, sustaining self-care looks like?

Last week I got to visit with a woman that I’ve known for most of my life, who is now in her 80’s and living alone after being widowed a few years ago. It was so nice to see her and hear about how she is getting along. But what has stuck with me since then is how she looked.

She looked cared for- and, even though she lives alone, she seems to be doing very well.

She said that she has people who come to help her around the house to keep things clean and in good repair.

But more important than her house being cared for, she looks well. Her hair is “done” {nicely tinted and has a lovely back-combed style}, she wore a little make-up and she was certainly wearing her trademark smile!

Since our visit, I’ve been thinking about what continuous habits she must have had throughout her years of young adulthood, raising a large family and now to being a grandma. In my memory, all through those years, she was having her hair done, I’d guess a weekly trip to a salon. As I think back, I don’t remember her being harried much or over-taxed. It seems that she tended to things and planned and worked and enjoyed her family. I’m sure she had her difficulties, but she seems to have fashioned and maintained a great outlook on life that has kept her going strong.

Part of what I’m describing, I’d say, was the fruits of an era when ladies were pretty much at home caring for their families, and when they were focused on the maintenance and care of their homes. But it seems that along with that mindset came caring for self in a way that might feel exorbitant to us today. Resting, getting to bed at a decent time. Eating regularly and well. Not being pulled {in a major way} in four directions at once, they just seemed to have a kind of contentedness that permeated their lives. {Wait, isn’t that what our computers and appliances and prepared foods are supposed to give us…less work / more time and contentedness and even connected-ness?}

I’d guess too that the ladies who lived on her street were doing much of the same thing and were a support to one another, as they were socializing and working together in the neighborhood.

Do you think that the wisdom of their era is lost? I have experienced something like it in some neighborhoods where we have lived and I loved it so much!

I wonder if it could be alive and well for those who seek to create it?

I hope that wherever you are today, that you have women who are your friends and neighbors with which you can build friendships and support systems. Particularly those who will support you in caring for yourself!

Be well.

Love,

Jacque