I lost a friend recently. Well, he was someone I consider a friend even though I never met him in person because, even from a distance, he taught me a lot about courage and faith. During his lifetime, he dealt with heartache and disappointment. He had incredible physical challenges and yet stayed engaged and focused on doing what he had committed in his life to doing, and remained full of faith and kindness.

Today, I pay tribute to him by offering you a snippet of a thought he gave to me. I hope I can do it justice.

Have you ever had a conversation that leaves you wondering if you are in reality patient or charitable? Maybe the person to whom you are speaking has a what you might call a “delicate ego” and is on the lookout for anyone who might cross them or counter their opinions. Or maybe they are at such a low, that negativity or anger is dripping from their person.

That kind of conversation or experience often leaves you feeling, or being outright, accused of a wrong that isn’t rightly attributed to you! {And you may be tempted to feel anxious or even angry in return!} You may have been wearing the wrong color or smiled at the wrong moment and were accused of being flippant when you attempted to show kindness. {It’s quite possible that your accuser may resent your happiness or success or even your peace.}

Christian courage, I learned from my friend, is demonstrated by how we respond to accusations. It is shown in our words and actions by the only power that subdues evil, and that is the love of God. That love sustains us and animates us; it helps us to love ourselves and accept our limitations; it gives us motivation to strengthen our physical and spiritual muscles and gives us light so that we can discern clearly. And that love allows us to respond without hurling accusations back. My friend taught me that responding in this way, with love, is not weakness but is what he called, Christian courage.

Can you think of a response to give to someone who is miserable {and would love you to join them} that would dispel possible contention and bring light?

“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“I see that you are hurting.”
And if appropriate,
“I pray for you.”

Sometimes the answer to this kind of situation may be a renewed boundary, as in you may decide to limit the time you spend with someone who is wallowing in misery. Or, on the other hand, if they are interested in receiving help and support and uplifting friendship, you may decide how you can help and support given your circumstances and the time, means and energy you have at your disposal.

I truly believe that comfort is available in most situations if we are willing to receive comfort. If someone is not wanting to be lifted, there is nothing you can do to lift. And when you continue to try to lift without their willingness, you wear yourself out making the attempt.

Bottom line is, if their choice is to stay in negativity and lack, you must maintain your choice of positivity and fullness. Even God will not force or coerce a soul into paradise, so why should we delude ourselves with thinking that we ought to even if we could?

Then, when it comes to a heated moment, a soft answer, without reciprocated accusations, is the higher road. And often, that one loving response will dissolve anger or at least keep you free of entangling contention.

Of course, the kind of strength we need for this kind of responding will only come as we:
-acknowledge our own weaknesses
-humbly ask for forgiveness of our own follies and mistakes
-ask for greater faith and a measure of God’s love to abide in and around us
-cultivate self-love and self-acceptance
-surround ourselves with words of truth and positivity and light

I pray we’ll all be willing and able to shine Light into a world that so desperately needs it!

And a special thank you to my friend, for a life well lived and for being an example of the believers to me.

Love,

Jacque