30 years ago, while I was in the hospital waiting for labor inducing drugs to take effect, I started reading a book about an American Indian tribe. {Happy birthday Brad and thanks for the book Vicki!}
Specifically significant to me was a chapter about a young Indian mother who needed to correct her teenage son. Instead of telling him all that he had done wrong and letting him know she disapproved of him, out of respect for him, she first put paint on her face like a clown, and told him that she was aware that she was human and not without mistakes herself. Then she explained the things that she needed to bring to his attention.
The scene I envisioned while reading about that mother has stayed with me all this time.
She seemed to possess such wisdom! She seemed to understood that she should not lord over someone even though it was clear he needed her guidance. Neither did she ignore her responsibility to teach, nor did she approach the situation using anger to fuel her resolve.
Photo by Frank Wang on Unsplash
I am delighted when I hear people teach who have mastered the art of being kind, gentle, respectful and FIRM all at the same time! And how instructive it is to see how effective that attitude is in communicating care and love, humility and assertiveness all together! Brilliant!
If you’re new to the Lioness blog, let me suggest that you read the book, I Don’t Have to Make Everything All Better, by Gary and Joy Lundburg, as soon as you can get your hands on it! You will learn the art of validation and what every person needs to know: that they are of worth, that their feelings matter and that someone really cares about them.
I wish that every family in the world had access to the principles that the Lundburg’s teach so simply and elegantly. No psycho-babble or long-winded discourse. Just plain English, clearly written and made easy to put into action- immediately!
It goes without saying that as parents, we wield profound power in the lives of our children.
Our responses to our personal circumstances; our responses to our children’s “mistakes” or immaturity and lack of experience; our behavior toward our spouse; our view of the world, all are helping or hurting us in teaching them healthy ways to live their lives.
We can’t expect our children to grow if we aren’t willing to take the next steps to learn and become a bit better too. And because of that, we cannot afford to allow ourselves to stay where we are.
May we be humble in our interactions with our children.
Learn to listen, truly listen with our mouths shut, to hear them and to validate their feelings.
We cannot afford to live in fear.
We need to stand up.
Physically, emotionally, spiritually, and stand tall with shoulders back, muscles engaged, moving forward and leading out!
We must be fierce in protecting and nurturing and teaching our children, while understanding again and again that we have much to learn too.
This means that we also must nurture and care for ourselves so that we will be able to give them the leadership and guidance they need, when they need it!
We can do this!
You can do this!
If you feel tired or overwhelmed or unsure, pour your heart out to God and humbly ask for courage, strength and wisdom to be given to you.
God is in His heaven and we can trust in Him.
Love, love, love,
“The mission of Lioness at the Door is to uplift, strengthen and encourage women of all ages to magnify health, hope and happiness at home. We do so boldly, with humility and gratitude for the opportunity.”