I am in awe at the power of validation. There is no way that we can know what another person is experiencing in life! Just no way! Even when two situations are similar, they are vastly different for each person.

This small example from the book, I Don’t Have To Make Everything All Better, by Gary and Joy Lundberg, gives such insight.

It’s a story of a boy who has had multiple surgeries on his legs and after having more problems with a leg breaking in it’s brace, he had this experience with his mom:

“The leg was put in a brace that went clear to his waist. It was very uncomfortable. On the way home from the hospital he started to cry and said, “This is just one more thing. It’s not fair this happened to me.” Instead of saying, “Don’t worry son. It’ll be all healed up in two months and everything’s going to be okay,” I decided to validate him and let him feel what he was feeling, and said, “You’re right, Michael. It isn’t fair. And I”m so sad it happened.” He went on to say more about how sad he was. Then I said, “So, what do we do now?” He said, “I’ll be okay. I guess there’s not much I can do except wait it out. These things just happen in life.”

Isn’t that beautiful?

Why are we in such a hurry to insist that others look on the bright side of everything, when all they need to do is to be heard without others thinking that they are faithless or pessimistic? Life has sad moments and if we are never allowed to feel our feelings, where do they go?

We can trust that others can solve their own problems, especially when they feel heard and valued.

Remember, everyone longs for this truth from you:

You are of worth, your feelings matter and I really care about you!

By lending an ear and really listening to others, without trying to change their thoughts or opinions, we give this gift!

I hope you are well!

Love,

Jacque