If a friend came to you and told you that she was feeling down and asked if you had any suggestions about how she could feel more happiness and hope in her life, what would you tell her?

Would you possibly tell her that one surefire way to move out of a discouraged and disheartened mindset (that awful, bottomless pit!) is to find someone who has need of your assistance and get busy shifting your mind to offering what assistance you can?

If you have experience with this magical phenomenon, you’ll know that it really can work a miracle to get out of our own heads and the downward, circuitous pattern of depressive thinking and truly see and think and care about someone else!

Ok, so the problem is, what if the person in the mental black hole is you? What counsel would you give yourself? Well, here’s the rub: it depends on how sucked into the black you are before you think to counsel yourself! Because part of the experience of the black hole is that your right mind goes to lunch! Even if you have great counsel for yourself, like you would give a friend when you’re feeling chipper and she’s feeling hopeless, you may end up singing Alice in Wonderland’s wonderful song;

“I give myself such very good advice, but I very seldom follow it!”

So just maybe a contingency plan would be the ticket!

Of course the first part of that plan is to be getting as much deeply nourishing self-care as you possibly can first thing every day, or as many days as you possibly can. That effort will at least set you up for a better chance of success in dealing with the stresses that will come.

The second part of that plan might be a regular “looking out for others” activity that helps you keep your perspective and sense of humor and simply keeps your mind in an outgoing spiral instead of an in and downward one. You may consistently visit someone in your area and offer them a hand with something, or regularly sing with an elderly person in an assisted living facility, or serve food in a soup kitchen or volunteer at a local children’s hospital, or an animal shelter or give of yourself in any number of situations of ongoing need.

And third, what about crafting a string of declarations that are ever-ready and at your disposal for the moment you feel the temptation to drift or escape or wallow in self-piteous or fearful thoughts? (If you don’t act immediately, these lose their effectiveness fast simply because with every minute that passes, you will actually be caring less about keeping yourself in an uplifted place!)

Fourth and finally, for this post anyway, directing your mind toward gratitude by writing out your grateful thoughts every day will go a long way in steering you toward light and mental, physical and emotional health.

Here’s the truth: it isn’t our circumstances that dictate our level of peace and joy in this life!

May you have a blessed week. And may you create and cultivate a spirit of contentment and sharing.

Love always,

Jacque

P.S. Take your children along and let them learn by watching, by doing and by how they feel when they bless others. You’ll be creating a safety net under their lives by teaching them to be “outward reachers!”

 

 

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