Of all things!
The best way to create a place where people are loved and feel they belong, is to become unconditionally loving ourselves!
And that is not a simple walk in the park.
It requires dedicated time, effort, learning & study, becoming brutally honest, which of course requires intense humility and connecting with God and your wise, unconditionally loving friends.
But this venture, this life-changing, soul cleansing experience is worth every minute and whatever discomfort it may require!
You can learn more about this process in our class Healing With Love, our Lioness Lifestyle subscription and of course from combing through the Lioness blog.
Today, I want to share with you some of the results my clients and I have experienced from changing our hearts, our brains and then our behavior!
1 We are no longer past-feeling.
Some of us spent years building walls of protection around our hearts and years practicing off-putting behaviors to protect ourselves, or to “get” what we needed. But when those behaviors and walls are gone, all the love that is around us becomes accessible!
We can truly mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort and we can receive the great love God pours out on our lives each day.
2 We are more relaxed.
Once we begin to feel full of the one thing we actually need, that of feeling loved, completely and no matter what, the intense need we had to keep our surroundings in order or worse, to attempt to control not just our environment, but also our people, falls off. No more compelled and antsy and frantic to have things just so. Aaah.
3 We are less concerned about the opinions of others.
Whereas we used to feel empty and afraid and alone in our heart-of-hearts, much of the time, and striving and working to prove our worthiness to others in hopes of gaining their approval (in place of the love we were missing), we are free to be ourselves instead. Sometimes we’re goofy, sometimes messy and spontaneous, sometimes needing quiet time alone to regroup. But how wonderful to feel at liberty to express ourselves without that constant dogged feeling of being watched and judged.
4 We can rest.
Instead of pushing and driving and stressing, we can take life a day at a time and feel solid within ourselves and our relationships, because we aren’t creating tornadoes of stress all around! Instead of feeling worthy only if our to-do list is crossed off and complete, we now breathe through our days and our bodies and minds can rest when needed.
5 We can heal.
Our bodies have taken a brutal beating over the years by being chronically in a fight or flight mode! The tension caused by the ongoing stress and fear caused by believing that we needed to be perfect, on our own, tied us in knots that became illness and chronic pain.
Now, we can lay down the burden of perfectionism and pick up the health and vitality and freedom we have long sought after!
6 Our marriages can thrive.
Becoming pro’s at telling the truth about ourselves, instead of continually blaming or finding fault with our spouses, has freed them up to tell the truth about themselves too! They feel safe and secure in our love and so participate more fully in the family, give their honest opinions without anxiety, pitch in and help and generally want to be around us more than ever!
This outcome alone is worth the work. How rich life is when we know how to treat each other with respect and great love.
7 We spend more time caring what God thinks and being right with Him, and less about trying to please or be “socially acceptable.”
We feel the injunction of this scripture: 2 Nephi 24:3 “…the Lord shall give thee rest, from thy sorrow, and from thy fear and the hard bondage wherein thou wast made to serve.” Repenting and feeling free from the pain our own unloving behavior has caused us and our loved ones, is truly coming out of sorrow and bondage!
You cannot know the relief of this self-inflicted pain until it is gone.
If the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the gift of repentance is still working for you in theory only, I invite you to learn what behaviors are unloving, take responsibility for them by acknowledging the wrong, saying you are sorry, asking for forgiveness, and inviting the Savior into your life to learn to love and be loved with His power!
This daily relief is available even to sweet, kind and good-hearted moms who would never intentionally hurt anyone, especially not their family members and friends!
The Atonement of Jesus Christ is just as much for us as it is for anyone else. Maybe more, since we are striving to instill testimony, confidence, and great love into those that God has entrusted to our care!
8 We are no longer trying to accomplish “our great work” alone.
We have come to know that we need the influence, guidance and love of God every minute of every day! Not because we “aren’t good enough” but because we are human and learning.
We also know that along with the Lord carrying our burdens and pain, He also deserves the glory of our success. Pride is just as deadly to a saintly, striving woman as it is to the most deprived among us.
We have learned that we aren’t better if we “need God less.”
Of course we are all continuing to learn and practice our new way of life, and of course we are still connecting with, inviting and accepting God’s love into our lives every day.
We are lifelong learners and we relish the opportunity to become!
I pray you will create places of security and belonging for your family by becoming more of the loving person you already are!
Love always,
P. S. Don’t forget that the Lioness Lifestyle subscription is available and we’ll be starting a new group in January! For only $12/month, you get challenges, reading assignments, 1 group coaching session each month and a beautiful tradition tracking page as you accomplish your goals!
It would be a joy for me to walk with you through the coming year and encourage and support your personal evolution. Hope to see you and your sisters and friends there!