For many years we learned from a gifted teacher about correct principles in family governance.  In fact, he is currently working to get his life’s work digitized in order to make it available to anyone interested in having it.  When that happens, I will be the first to send out a link!  His name is James Jones and I feel very blessed to have been influenced by the things he has taught thousands of families.  He helped us a lot through the years and continues to help us, as we have moved into the season of grand-parenthood!

One thing I’d like to pass on to you today, is the idea of three foundational principles of family governance that I believe are absolutely right on the money.  They also go hand in hand with the work of Gary and Joy Lundberg who wrote I Don’t Have To Make Everything All Better, another gem!  They set forth the principles of validation beautifully! So, see what you think, from what you already know, about how these principles harmonize with those principles of validation.

1  Freedom of Choice; We all have the God-given right to make our own choices.  And so we are also responsible for our choices.  As parents, we understand our children’s rights and responsibilities, and we hold ourselves and them to that standard.

2  Personal Integrity; As my dad always said, there are only three teachers and they are 1 example, 2 example and 3 example.  Our children learn from watching what we do, not so much from what we say.  So, if we are lacking in harmony between what we say and what we do, we will find that our children may follow our actions, and not our proclaimed beliefs.

3  Unconditional Love; We love our children in a way that they feel free to live fully, to take risks for growth and to learn from their mistakes without the worry of losing their place in our hearts. It begins with allowing ourselves to learn, to be striving for excellence, but not discouraged that we aren’t perfect!  Accepting our own humanness, we will be able to show them that we accept theirs as well.  This doesn’t mean that we have no expectations for their behavior, but we accept and love them on their journey.

I pray that we will all be patient with ourselves as we continue to learn. and as we grow into the stature of mature and confident parents. There’s a learning curve here for everyone!

How blessed we are to have the privilege!

Love,

Jacque