How are your validating skills and efforts panning out thus far?

I hope you are willing to take baby steps and to celebrate each little success you experience- which means you will have to wear your mental “looking for success lens” in order to see them!

And, have you found that there are opportunities for practice everywhere you turn? There is never a shortage if you spend any time with people of any age!

Just a note about the listening part of validation:

What if you are desiring to validate someone and yet there seems to be no end to the drama and desperation they tell you? If it seems that the “figuring it out” never comes and the same discouraged and difficult situation goes on indefinitely?

I would suggest that you can draw a boundary around your listening; you can ask the validating questions and use the validating phrases, while also limiting the time you spend hearing the sometimes unending variations of the same trouble.

At some point, you become an enabling accomplice when you listen and listen and listen to a situation where progress and discovery is not the goal. Besides that, when we are in a place of exasperation and exhaustion, we aren’t helpful! At such times, we can frame the time we give with appropriate boundaries. We can encourage.  We can continue to be kind, gentle, respectful and firm, to the other person, and to ourselves.

There are times when a listening ear is not all that is needed. Heaven help us to be able to know when it is time to gently move forward. Maybe professional help is needed. Maybe it would be more productive to make that suggestion.

Then again, sometimes inviting someone to do something else, other than talking, can be such a gift!

How about a bike ride or a walk on a beautiful day? Or catching a good movie or going to hear an orchestra or see a play?

I thank heaven for all of the wonderful friends I have had through my life who have given me their time, their listening ears, their understanding and encouragement.  We are all indebted to true friends who offer us the validation we need while we figure out our own struggles, and the times we share having fun and helping us each discover our best selves.

Have a great evening!

Love,

Jacque