Children and pets deserve to be loved and taught! And when troubled behavior shows up, we know it’s parents and owners who have a few things to learn.
Which brings me to the fact that I met with a dog trainer today.
(It is an understatement to say that we need help.)
“Chief” has been our son’s dog, but now is ours. So, if we’re going to be happy together, some things need to change and we don’t really know how to accomplish that.
Pam, the trainer, told me that she’s been working with someone’s dog at her home for a few weeks, and that in only two days, she helped the dog overcome some behavior problems. Now, she says, she needs to teach the owners how to act in order to keep the dog behaving well! So true!
This got me thinking about kids.
If as young parents, we could send our children to a “kid trainer,” and in two days they were taught some better ways to behave, what would happen when they came home?
I’m seeing more clearly in this dog situation that we, the owners, need to be trained. Not the dog! And in parenting, it’s parents who need to be trained, not the kids!
So there’s the commitment and responsibility part:
1 When our dog is trained, we are going to have to continue to mean what we say.
2 We’re going to need to make the ongoing effort to have rewards available.
3 We’re going to have to continue to spend time with him and give him constant feedback.
4 We’ll have to hold him to a good behavior standard and not back down.
Before, we could be lazy and think, wow, this dog needs training, but not do much about it.
Now, we’ll be responsible for his behavior.
And what makes this training project most compelling?
It’s the fact that our dog’s life will be so much happier and healthier in the long run, when he learns good behavior skills and has pleasant manners.
He’ll go for more walks and see more people and have more fun!
And the same goes for kids.
In order for our children to have a bright future, they need our time and attention and unconditional love.
1 The less troubled/confused/whiny they are, the higher functioning and communicative they will be.
2 The more loved and secure and validated they are, the better spouses, moms and dads they will be.
3 The more they are taught and learn in a non-threatening and kind way, the more they will learn! And the more responsible they will become.
4 The more life skills they learn, the greater their ability to handle adult responsibilities will be.
There is no job in the world as critical as parenting. There’s also no job as complex and demanding.
We all have a lot to learn and we all need constant reminders that the buck stops here with us; we are Alpha!
I hope you will take extremely good care of yourself so that you will have love to give and give and give!
If you run into feeling that maybe you don’t actually need a break or exercise or rest or loving conversations, remember that you’ll be doing those things in order to be a better mom!
Figure out your self care and find a way to make it happen.
You can do this!
You rule the world!