Good day my friend! I hope this day finds you well.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the idea of perfecting, or in other words, the process of becoming our whole and complete selves– contrasted with the faulty notion we sometimes buy into, that we will know we’re of worth only when we appear to be perfect. {Who started this deceptive thinking anyway?}

Perfecting is actually a process and perfection means wholeness.

Perfectionism on the other hand is psychic fix that requires two thinking errors: one, that perfection can be gauged by how things appear, and two, that we need to appear perfect now in order to have value.

Perfecting is about truly developing things like love and graciousness, patience and humility and the talents and abilities we each came designed to develop!

Perfectionism is the pseudo-fix we are tempted to use to supposedly fool ourselves and others into assigning us worth.

And of course, in that line of thinking, we use how things appear as a yardstick to compare ourselves to others, which is an extremely faulty measure at best!

Appearances can’t be accurate measures for the process of perfecting because most of the ways we are evolving as human beings are interior, changes of mind and heart.

No matter what a person looks like, acts like, earns or seems to live like, the only One who knows the real story is God.

If we make the mistake of thinking we need to be “perfect” now so that we can feel worthy, and we use a faulty system of outward measures to indicate our progress based on comparing ourselves to others, we will always be misinformed- and, most likely, running faster than we have strength.

And even more detrimental than being misinformed, is being tempted to get stuck in the game of comparisons which breeds competition {where there has to be a winner and a loser} and stop our own progress toward wholeness out of a feeling of loss and defeat- thinking we are flawed and finished before we really get started!

I heard a wise man say recently that it is good to ask for the experiences that will bring us to a state of wholeness.

To me, that says, we don’t have time to compare or worry or gauge or compete!

Just time to live! To create! To enjoy beauty! To build people and relationships! To learn from other’s experiences as well as our own! To collaborate! To have joy!

As you move throughout this day will you consider this truth? I believe with all my heart that:

You are of worth.

Your feelings matter.

Someone really cares about you.

No, there’s no need to try to arrive at the finish too soon, or miss experiencing joy because you feel the need to prove your worth. {I can attest that comparisons and proving can numb your senses so much that you can’t feel joy, even when it’s in front of you.}

No, no need to prove your worth.

You already have it.

The people you assign to yourself as comparison material already have it.

Right now.

Wholeness or perfection will come as we learn to love and accept ourselves and others, particularly in the intense life-school we call family.

I wish you well!

Remember that peace is ready and waiting to come in! So go ahead, wherever you are, or whatever your circumstances seem to be today, throw away your comparisons, embrace your God-given worth and invite peace into your heart!

Soon you will be singing Hallelujah, to Him who loves and values you now and who makes peace and progress possible.

Love,

P.S. A caveat: We cannot judge the motives of others. What if someone you know cares for herself? Looks healthy? Acts well? And as far as you can see, basically lives well? Can you say that she is just trying to look good for the sake of looking good or even worse, that she is trying to be better than others to compete with them or make others look bad? No!

We can’t, with integrity, pretend to know the motives of others, or assume that if we are competing with them, they must be competing with us!

What we can do is work on our own stuff. Clear out our own mental garbage. Do our own emotional and spiritual work. And doing so, we may discover that we are losing the feeling of competition, and gaining a greater sense of our divine worth!

What freedom!

“The mission of Lioness at the door is to uplift, strengthen and encourage women of all ages to magnify health, hope and happiness at home. We do so boldly, with humility and gratitude for the opportunity.”