I remember those days of overwhelm. Of not much sleep. Of foggy mornings. Of tears of joy coming to my eyes when I really looked at my children. At their innocence. Of fluffy bedheads. Of trips to the library; the stacks of picture books I think I enjoyed as much as anyone. Of feeling content to have my kids in the car headed home, hearing their curious thoughts about the world. Of wanting to freeze time, then speed it up on the difficult days! Of w
ondering if my children would survive each other. And if they could survive without each other. Of friends coming and going. Of meals and meals and meals and meals. Of simple pleasures. Of being cuddled on the couch reading together. Of musicals. Of band practice. Of lessons and teachers and notes and schedules. Of jump ropes and roller blades. Of tea parties and Halloween costumes. Of sewing for Christmas. Of sometimes pushing too hard. Of clinging to my journal. Of drinking in encouragement and strength from lessons and leaders from church. Of instructive dreams. Of binding myself to God in pleading prayer, at times pounding on heaven’s door in distress and sometimes approaching in joy. Of receiving answers, soft and powerful that let me know things would be ok. Of having the Word jump off the page to correct my thinking, moving me, lovingly urging me to change. Of celebrations. Of goodbyes. Of letters. Of essays. Of music theory and practicing, practicing, practicing. Of dances and dresses. Of ties and tuxedos. Of courtships. Of weddings. Of pregnancy’s and surgeries. Of baby smiles. Of joy and joy and joy….
I believe that the judgment day will be full of visual evidences of what we truly wanted. And the revelation of how grace met us and bridged the gaps between what was and what we hoped and searched and worked to bring about. And how the ripple of our heart’s desire went out and didn’t ever stop….
Slow it down to here and now. Feel it. Laugh and cry. Taste it. Hold it. Believe and hope. Get help when you can’t do it alone. Turn off the virtual world. Look at the sky. Sometimes let the wind blow your stresses away.