It seems that there is a happy medium to strike in just about every endeavor that makes the difference between failure and success. Parenting is no exception and often I have wished for the wisdom of Solomon when trying to strike the sweet balance, or boundaries, required to keep the family functioning well. 
We all know that good fences can make good neighbors. It’s the idea that when the boundaries are clear, everyone can relax and enjoy their own space.
But for kids, it’s much more than that. Boundaries help them to feel safe and secure!
As a culture, we have got to get this idea straightened out! I have heard people say that rules and discipline are too hard on kids and that they should be able to make their own decisions and find their own way; that correction is too hard on their self-esteem and that there are no true right and wrongs anyway.
That is a twisted fallacy. Children are not small adults and don’t have the experience and brain function they would need to navigate an anything goes society. And right and wrong do still exist.
Children need, in fact, they crave the comfort of knowing when they have come up against a boundary; when they have misbehaved and what they need to do to repair the situation; how to control themselves and learn to respect others; knowing that when it is time for them to be home, that someone is aware of them and waiting for their safe return.
But we’ve all heard of the boundaries that are brought in too tightly! About those kids who are abused or controlled and not allowed any growing space or room to learn from their own mistakes.
Finding the balance is a learn-as-you-go process. All we can do is try our best, recognize when we have been too lenient or too stern and do what it takes to remedy the relationship and the situation. Parents can model humble learning as they ask for forgiveness from a family member and commit to doing better next time, and then truly make adjustments to create better results in the future.
None of us are getting it right all of the time. But when we are committed to one another, we are dedicated to owning our own mistakes and working out our own progression.
It’s saying “I’m sorry, please forgive me,” and “It’s ok, I forgive you,” as many times as need be. What a gift! This is how we learn and stay together! Parent’s being accountable for their behavior, while teaching children to be accountable for theirs.
And as my dad always said, the best three teachers are, example, example and example.
I wish your family a wonderful weekend!
Love,
Jacque