I understand very well the feeling of powerlessness.
For weeks, months and years I struggled with chronic pain and the ever-present temptation toward discouragement that accompanies being side-lined.
During that time, I also was in the habit of criticizing, fault-finding and blaming others for many of my feelings, especially those that were painful.
And while I have had experiences that have required me to move through the process of grief, I have for the most part felt justified in laying blame to others or circumstances or betrayals for the negative feelings I’ve created by feeling and acting like the underdog.
I have also chosen to go through a somewhat painful repentance process for the habits I’ve had of dodging responsibility for my beliefs, my thoughts, my words, my behavior, for my life!
So I understand the difficulty in hearing what I am about to say.
Through great trial and error, I have painfully learned that no one else is responsible for my feelings, my needs, my decisions or my thoughts and behavior.
And ultimately, I have learned that the counsel we have received over and over and over again in the Gospel of Jesus Christ to repent, is the most empowering, benevolent and gracious invitation we could receive!
Why?
Because the act of taking responsibility moves us from feeling powerless to actually being empowered!
It’s as if we often live with an emotional, low grade fever in response to the horrible sense that we are at the mercy of the mistakes and weaknesses of others, the weather, events in the world, etc. or in other words, that we are objects being tossed around by life! That is the definition of being disempowered! Of being relegated to the passenger seat, with no seat belt!
But the moment we recognize the things we have believed, thought, said and done that are unloving and have kept us entangled in a dance of fear with our loved ones, we can move from the vulnerable feeling of the passenger seat, and through our owning, saying we’re sorry or repenting, we land solidly into the driver’s seat again!
So you can see why I feel so loved and cared for when I hear President Nelson and others teach the following truths. Only someone who loves you and has confidence in you would encourage you to rejoice in your agency, by encouraging you to choose to repent and change!
“None of us can control nations or the actions of others or even members of our own families. But we can control ourselves. My call today, dear brothers and sisters, is to end conflicts that are raging in your heart, your home, and your life. Bury any and all inclinations to hurt others–whether those inclinations be a temper, a sharp tongue, or a resentment for someone who has hurt you. The Savior commanded us to turn the other cheek, to love our enemies and to pray for those who despitefully use us.” (3 Nephi 12:39, 3 Nephi 12:44) April 2022
“Repentance is the Lord’s regimen for spiritual growth.” April 2007
“We are here on earth to be tested, to see if we will choose to follow Jesus Christ, to repent regularly, to learn, and to progress.” October 2020
“The sequence of His pattern is significant. Faith, repentance, baptism, a testimony, and enduring conversion lead to the healing power of the Lord….Afflictions can come from spiritual as well as physical causes. Alma the Younger remembered that his sin was so painful that he wished to “become extinct both soul and body, that (he) might not be brought to stand in the presence of …God, to be judged of (his) deeds.” At such times, how can we be healed by HIm? We can more fully repent! We can become more fully converted! Then the “Son of Righteousness” can more fully bless us by His healing hand.” October 2005
“Now is the time we can learn. Now is the time we can repent. Now is the time we can bless others.” April 2022
“Discover the joy of daily repentance. Repenting is the key to progress. Please do not fear or delay repenting. Satan delights in your misery. Cut it short. Cast his influence out of your life! Start today to experience the joy of putting off the natural man. Walking the covenant path, coupled with daily repentance, fuels positive spiritual momentum.” April 2022
“Does everyone need to repent? The answer is yes. Too many people consider repentance as punishment–something to be avoided except in the most serious circumstances. But this feeling of being penalized is engendered by Satan. He tries to block us from looking to Jesus Christ, who stands with open arms, hoping and willing to heal, forgive, cleanse, strengthen, purify and sanctify us. When Jesus asks yo and me to “repent,” He is inviting us to change our mind, our knowledge, our spirit–even the way we breathe. He is asking us to change the way we love, think, serve, spend our time, treat our wives (husbands!) teach our children and even care for our bodies.
Nothing is more liberating, more ennobling, or more crucial to our individual progression than is a regular, daily focus on repentance.
Repentance is not an event; it is a process. It is the key to happiness and peace of mind. When coupled with faith, repentance opens our access to the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
Repentance is the key to avoiding misery inflicted by traps of the adversary. The Lord does not expect perfection from us at this point in our eternal progression. But He does expect us to become increasingly pure. Daily repentance is the pathway to purity, and purity brings power.” April 2019
Sister, my prayer is that we can learn what we need to repent of (those unloving habits of being angry and irritated, attacking, deceiving, escaping, playing on pity and attaching), so that we can know clearly what we need to ask God to help us to change.
I testify that this process works.
I am free of pain and my relationships have never been so drama-free and sweet! Thank Heaven!
Sending you my love and my conviction that we can be healed if we will submit to the cure
With love,
