Hello Friend! I hope this post finds you well.
This is the first installment in a series of posts: Mothers Standing Strong.
I feel to speak to this topic because this is a time when families need leadership! And that means that as mothers and fathers, we need to be doing our best to be loving adults!
By adult, I’m talking about a person who is response-able. A person who has inner strength and the confidence and maturity to know when it is time to care for themselves, (and does so proactively and often) and when it is time to put someone else’s needs ahead of their own.
By loving, I mean the generous, kind and nurturing treatment we give to others when we know we are loved.
(Hopefully, you who are mothering young children have created systems of support for yourselves. Even though, as a society we are trying to create a new normal, and those supportive things you used to depend upon may not be available now, still, if you are used to the mindset of self-care, I think you’ll be able to create new supports more easily! This series is all about strengthening yourself in order to create your best new normal.)
So let’s start at the beginning.
The first and most important part of self-care is knowing who you are.
Do you know?
We can state who we are in relation to other people and the roles we fill, like you are so and so’s spouse or so and so’s mother, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, or friend.
You can also state who you are based on your job, training or talents, such as homemaker, violinist, pianist, engineer, marketing specialist etc.
But the who you are that I believe will tether your soul to a solid, enduring foundation, is your relationship to God. You are the daughter of the Source of all love, power, creation, progression, courage, virtue, kindness, strength, grace, and everything else that is good!
What does that say about you? It says, you have the potential to develop and embody all of that goodness!
And what help is available to you? All the love and power in the universe!
So we could say that the answer to your identity boils down to this: You are…. loved.
That is who you are. You are love and you are loved. Today, tomorrow, last year, next month and forever.
That knowledge is what we need to tap into every single day.
And not just the knowledge, but the feeling of being completely and unconditionally loved!
Because if we know in our bones that we are truly loved, then we know we’re ok; then we know that we don’t need to waste our precious time and energy trying to prove our worth by competing with others.
I hope that the feeling of being loved unconditionally isn’t new for you. I hope it has been a common theme in your life. But if not, there’s no time like the present to tap in!
Here are a few ideas to help you find or strengthen the ability to feel more love:
1 Find a time and place to be quiet and alone. Maybe now, this is the bedroom before everyone else is awake. Maybe it’s in the car, parked in a beautiful spot (when another responsible person can care for the kids). Maybe this is on the porch or in a lawn chair in the back yard. Be creative!
2 Pray fervently for understanding and to be able to feel the unconditional love that God and others have for you.
3 Read scriptures, some uplifting literature, one of the Real Love books, your journal or other inspiring works.
4 Be very discerning about what you consume every day. (Especially now!)
Choose those things that will help you to be more sensitive to the quiet voice that will whisper truth to your soul. That means music and videos and writing that is gentle, not harsh. Patient not angry. Hopeful not gloomy. (Yes, limit the news!) In order to feel, we have to be open and receptive. Unguarded, not defensive.
5 Spend as much time (virtual or in person if possible) with the wise men and wise women in your life! These are the people who know the real you, love you no matter what and tell you the truth. How many people do you know like that? If you see that you need more of those kind of friends, think of the people you know that are happy, calm and generally peaceful, then invite them into your life. Be authentic. See how it goes!
God bless us all to exercise the faith and knowledge we have now more than ever, by basking in God’s love every minute of every hour of every day. People who know they are loved are loving.
We know who we are, and we are standing strong.
For ourselves, for our marriages, for our children, for our communities, for our country, for our world.
Be well and safe.
The mission of Lioness at the Door is to uplift, strengthen and encourage women of all ages to magnify health, hope and happiness at home. We do so boldly, with humility and gratitude for the opportunity.