GeneralInspirationSelf-care ideas

Day 9- Te Fiti or Te Ka?

The first time I watched Disney’s Moana I was moved.

The story says so much about identity and personal power that it brought me to tears.

The part that made me laugh and smile for days on the other hand, was seeing that Te Ka was actually the seemingly heartless version of Te Fiti…or, I wondered, was she possibly just hormonally or chemically off? Maybe experiencing a decade of PMS?

Are you hearing my laughter?

So today, if you are experiencing hormonal up’s and down’s, I’d like to tell you, “this is not who you are…you know who you are!”

Photo by David Clode on Unsplash

If you know what I’m talking about, you’ll know that I know because I’ve been there. {That’s pretty much the only way to know isn’t it?} In fact,
I’m discovering the hormonal journey doesn’t end so I think I can relate to the shifting tide you may be feeling…daily or monthly or every now and again.

This is an area where I believe we can do much better. I know, that sounds like we have some control over what feels completely out of our control! Point is, we have to know what factors are at play if we want to have some control over them, right?

A caveat: there is a medical disclaimer at the bottom of this page that basically says all the obvious- that I am not a doctor, that I’m not prescribing anything, that the information on this website doesn’t take the place of receiving care from a physician, etc. Bottom line is that you alone are responsible for your decisions. But you already knew that!

Ok. Here are a few thoughts to consider.

Stress contributes greatly to hormone imbalance. And why my friend, are today’s women so stressed so much of the time? Maybe because of what we believe we should be doing, accomplishing or being? Sometimes all simultaneously? Can we do “it all”? And all at the same time?

First I ask, is there a job in the world that is more demanding of a person, in every conceivable way, than being a hands-on mother 24 hours a day? Being responsible for the welfare of another human being, in fact when that human being is completely helpless, is mind boggling! Times that intensity by how many children you have and wow, that is a very hefty job.

I mention this, not because you don’t already know it, but because I think our culture, those that create the money-making media that’s elbowing it’s way into our minds everywhere we look, is clueless at best and misled or misleading at worst. It says that as women we need to prove ourselves.

To whom and for what? Why would we feel pushed and harried and running too fast for our own good?

Is it because our society worships stuff and people? We seem to think that in order to be a “valid human being” you have to win the accolades of society. Sometimes it’s the message that women need to be like men. {Surely that pursuit could throw a girl’s hormones out of whack!} That being committed to another human being or sacrificing for their welfare is somehow demeaning. That having more and more and more stuff somehow reflects our value and is the real pursuit of happiness…you see what I’m saying here?

We mothers, we Lionesses can’t be taking advice from this materialistic philosophy! We know who we are, so we can stand with quiet dignity wherever we are. {Quiet dignity is different from being quiet! We aren’t quiet much of the time are we, nor should we be!}

We know that more stuff doesn’t create happiness. In fact, we know that expecting our house or car or watch or jewelry or cash flow to make us happy is a false belief! And that belief makes us more miserable when we finally get the “things” we’ve wanted only to discover that we are still as unhappy as we were before! Besides that, when we spend more of our time taking care of more stuff and we have less time to enjoy our lives!

We know that those people society worships are really only mortals and shouldn’t and can’t handle the status of Deity. Nor can we rely on or put our trust solely on another person. Only God is worthy of worship. We know that true honest-to-goodness validation comes in our relationship to Him and from our other significant relationships; the kind of relationships that may take a lifetime to create; that require our sacrifice; that demand that we grow-up and face ourselves as we are.

Whew! This isn’t as simple as saying, don’t be stressed is it? As women, we must challenge the beliefs we have about what we are chasing!

Are we trying to have all and be all, all at the same time?

On the other hand, are we doing enough to promote our own growth and wellness while caring for our families?
Are we balancing our heavy responsibilities with break times?
Are we spending our time learning those skills and behaviors that would best contribute to our and our family’s health and well-being?

We must answer these questions honestly in order to “balance our boat.” And at the same time, honor our sister’s balancing of her unique boat too!

Self-care matters. It’s about cooking real, good food. It’s about sleep. {These things take time and some measure of calmness don’t they?} It’s about running hard. It’s about relaxing after that. It’s about self-respect. It’s about learning to speak up. It’s about being still. It’s about taking up more space if need be. It’s about compromise. It’s about enjoying our life with the people we love! It’s about claiming our life, our choices, our commitments.

As for me, I want to be the goddess who is spontaneously growing flowers in a wreath around her head and who sees green and growth on everything she touches! Sometimes I kind of feel like that. And I certainly don’t want to be blasting fire and spilling hot lava across the country side! But alas, at times I have done that too.

It takes a lot of courage to take responsibility for our ups and downs doesn’t it? Simply caring for ourselves better is one way we can do that. How about this mantra, “lower the stress, lower the swing”!

Also, along with getting into a sturdier head space, you might consider some hormone help, like progesterone or estrogen oil or cream. This brand has been wonderful for me. You might also read up on using maca or vitex or wild yam capsules for hormone help. Beyond hormones, look for simple, natural supplements that can help with general chemical balance. {See post titled More Than One Basket for a few ideas.}


I wish you the courage to make the changes that need to be made. Even small shifts away from stress and strain will contribute to greater hormone balance.

And I hope you’ll be ultra kind to yourself in the process.


“The mission of Lioness at the Door is to uplift, strengthen and encourage women of all ages to magnify health, hope and happiness at home. We do so boldly, with humility and gratitude for the opportunity.”

One thought on “Day 9- Te Fiti or Te Ka?

  1. I love this… Moana is one of my favorites. I’m totally keeping that image in my mind- be like te fiti! Watch out for te ka!

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