Have you ever sat behind someone who is stroking the hair of a loved one beside them, like a mother, stroking the long hair of her daughter? Have you ever noticed what happens as you observe? When I register it, I realize that I feel my shoulders lower and my face soften. And it strikes me how that mother, or sister or father, lovingly touching that child or spouse or friend, effectively changes the feeling in the entire room, at least among those who can see them and those who have eyes to see the tenderness being given.
Kindness and gentleness ripple out in every direction! As do frustration, anger and neglect, unfortunately.
This summer I had the opportunity to brush the long, beautiful hair of young friend, after it was freshly washed. It was a nurturing experience for me, and I hope for her as well. So smooth and long and healthy. Before long, stroke after stroke, it seemed I had brushed it into pure, dry silk.
So here’s a question: when was the last time you brushed your child’s hair with the intention to show them nurturing kindness, not just to hurry out the door for school or an appointment? When was the last time you beamed your love and smile into the food-smeared face of a toddler as you gently washed it clean?
Sometimes, we get into a hurry (very understandably so!) and forget that every time we touch our children, we have the opportunity to connect with them, to push deeper into their memories and fill them more with our joy in them.
I sat next to a little mother in a meeting a long time ago, who had on her lap an unkempt child, with hair falling into a beautiful, but mostly hidden face. The child seemed to be a burden to carry like a heavy shoulder bag, and she seemed to be given about as much attention as a shoulder bag would be given too. I hoped that this was a one time event, but sadly it seemed to be a way of living for maybe an overwhelmed mother in a difficult time. Heaven knows I’ve had my own struggles at times with feeling overwhelmed on a daily basis!
I don’t pretend to know the challenges, thoughts and intents of this little girl’s family. I hope they are supported and growing and thriving. But I noted, as that little girl peered at me through her unkempt hair, with no expression on her face, that the way we are grooming, washing, combing, brushing, and dressing our children, will have a direct impact on the sense they have of their own worth.
Maybe the benefits of grooming come first to the parents, who show love and respect for themselves by keeping themselves physically clean and presentable. Then in a space of abundance and self-love, they pour those blessings onto their children, who can then meet the world with calm confidence.
Maybe no one reading this post needs this reminder, but as we become more and more casual in our societal customs, it can’t hurt to remember that our bodies, and our children’s bodies are the temples of God.
Are there any improvements we can make in keeping our children clean and combed and fed? Is there anything we need to change so that we can give them the happiness of being seen AND heard and understood?
Love is all the simple things. Hopefully we won’t allow ourselves to become so distracted that we forget to practice those simple, daily acts of love.
My love to you!
Jacque
“I am divine. All of my actions toward my family members are filled with love. I show respect for myself as I care for my own needs. I give and receive love every day. I am better every day at using a kind voice in my home. My children and grandchildren feel my love. I am enough.”
This is really great. Sometimes moms do spend a lot of time in hygiene activities and it seems challenging to remember how important this time spent actually is. I’m going to try to have a better attitude about this! I probably never would have thought about it this way. Thanks for making me think deeper here.
I agree with you Layna, all together it is a lot of time spent! All those small moments add up to being where we do most of our real living! Thank you for your comment!