I heard an insightful talk a few years ago about strengthening families.
The speaker said that as a culture we may wrongly assume that since our lifestyle includes having so much “stuff,” somehow that means our kids are getting their basic needs met.
According to psychologist Abraham Maslow (1908-1970), and his “hierarchy of needs” which attempts to explain human motivation, people progress from having their basic needs met to higher and fuller human experiences, such as pursuing education, honing talents, broadening capacity and constantly striving for fulfillment or self-actualization.
So, the speaker asked, are the children of our culture getting their basic needs met or does it just seem that way since we are drowning in possessions?
Other questions to consider could be these:
They may have shelter, but is it safe and secure with order and boundaries? Good food is available, but is it prepared and ready to eat during regular meals?
Are we putting in the time and effort required to help our family members feel that they have a place to belong? To have connections with friends and family, and to feel loved and heard in those relationships?
I thought that highlighting these questions was profound and gave me good food for thought!
Sometime later, I heard the perfect anecdote for this potential thinking error. It was a jewelry commercial of all things! But the slogan was great: Dare to be devoted.
We can’t expect kids to reach their potential without devoted parents who provide for their basic physical, emotional, spiritual and social needs. First.
What does devotion to our kids well-being look like?
Maybe it means being very clear about limiting the distractions we allow into our lives and making courageous decisions about how we spend our time and resources.
Maybe it’s about setting goals to cover the basics well and more consistently such as:
feeling loved and being loving
learning to teach without anger or irritation
providing regular meals
loving and firm discipline and a
general sense of order and predictability.
Maybe it includes making the effort to heal relationships and minimize stressful situations so that kids can be free to play and grow to be loving and responsible people.
Surely it means bettering our attempts at self-care so that we can be our best, most kind and loving selves. Like resting when we’re tired, eating when we’re hungry, developing our talents and enjoying our families!
As moms, we are blessed with so many options and opportunities! So it is more important than ever for us to chose well.
cut out distractions
ask for support when needed
dare to be happily devoted while our children need us most!
I hope you have a wonderful week ahead!
Much love to you,
P. S. One way to gain greater skills and to “dare to be devoted” is subscribing to Lioness Lifestyle, individual coaching, 7 Steps to Family Wellness or joining our Healing With Love coaching class happening now at Lioness!
P. P. S. Coming up: a post on hacks for living on less! After all, what our children need most is our time, attention and unconditional love.