Do you ever get discouraged when you come out of a difficult time and see that once again, when you were at the cross-roads of going down a negative train of thought or of maintaining your faith and personal power and keeping your thoughts positive, you ended up choosing the downward path?  Again. Even though the last time you went there, you recognized the time that had been wasted and the pain that had come to a relationship or two and the rebuilding you had to do when you came out of that desparaging funk?

So, here you are again, and you realize that once more, the pattern has been unchanged! What?!  Do you ever wonder when you’re going to get it?

Ha! I’m shaking my head.  How I wish I could say that every time I am at that point of decision, that every time I am standing on that precipice,  I always step into light and into peace and strength and hope. But I don’t.

However, what I can say, is that I am light years better at choosing goodness than I was five years ago, ten years ago and a universe away from where I was 20 years ago!

And you know, it’s ok because life was designed to be like this! So daily. So repetitive. Filled with constant opportunities to change and learn, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, year by year.

And it is like this because we are designed to be choice makers, thinking, learning, and deciding and choosing, even at, no, most especially at, those very small decision points!

It’s little, tiny turnings in our minds.

We watch those who are moving upward and making real change and we try to discern what makes it possible for them to make progress.  And we study it out in ourselves.

But mostly though, we learn from our own mis-steps, or better stated, our own wrong-thinking. We learn, often times, about the impact of our smallest decisions by feeling how we don’t want to feel!

How does it feel to be in the middle of great discouragement?  How does it feel to be without hope?  How do you feel when you dislike yourself or your spouse or your children?

It’s awful!  But that bad feeling is very, very instructive!  Isn’t it?

What I truly believe is that what we ultimately want, we will get.  If you want to learn, you will. If you want to be filled with hope, you will make choices, and learn from your mental mis-steps, and you will eventually cultivate a hopeful attitude.

If you really want to have peace in your relationship with yourself, you will, in the end, do what it takes to receive that. If you want to be closer and closer to God, you will little by little, un-clench the fist that is holding onto pain and grief and anger and insecurity and vice.

You will trust yourself and trust God more and more. And you’ll find that you can “let go” of those things you hold to you that you feel will somehow protect you from having bad things happen; or those things that you are using as a crutch, in order to get through the pain.

Baby steps, baby steps.  And we’ll get there!

Want to speed up the process? I encourage you to think about what you really want!  Write it out and give yourself a vision of what you can become and then look at it every day and make it part of you!

“I believe in you Peter!”

Love,

Jacque

P.S. The most helpful tool that I’ve employed in this crucial moment of decision, has been prayer; turning immediately to God and saying, “I choose Thee, and I choose Thy way.  Please help me to handle ____ the way Thou wouldst like me to and please endow me with Thy power to resolve this.” It is as if the way opens up and I can see the distance between my anger or frustration or despair and the light and clarity He offers.  And I can quickly see that I have to let those feelings go in order to be inspired and empowered.

Hope that helps. xo

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